PAID SEX WORK: Sex party nearly scores more than Greens in Broady while paying “volunteers” to fake it
The weekend’s by-election in Broadmeadows, according to Victorian Electoral Commission 2PP data, was a strong result for Labor. Alternatively, its primary vote was way down. Easily the most amusing aspect of the results though was the Sex Party’s vote continues to clearly erode the support the Greens party once enjoyed from disgruntled, supposedly politically disconnected Gen-Y types.
MORE FAKES THAN A SHENZEN HANDBAG SHOP
But the most intriguing aspect of the weekend was the extent of the faking going on the hustings. Highlights:
The Sex party “ demonstrating their support for paid sex work is more than just theoretical “ paid dozens of volunteers, principally from a St Kilda hostel, to hand out How-To-Votes for them on the day. More on that later.
Key Taliban staffers were photographed posing as closely as possible to victorious Labor candidate Frank McGuire in the photographs appearing in the paper despite their associates doing everything possible to undermine the bloke in the lead-up to the by-election including generating nasty stories in The Age (reporting on unelected HSU state president Kathy Jackson’s hysterical claims about McGuire’s party membership) and Herald Sun (with an unfathomable story about McGuire consulting to the Hume council or something and that being a sinister thing). Labor’s 2PP vote appeared to increase, after some shrewd Head Office preference deals, so it appears the good people of Broady weren’t paying much attention to Taliban tensions. Out of respect for the good lads in question, we’ll refrain from publishing the pic.
Liberal ministerial staffers and party workers volunteering for the Turkish independent candidate Celal Sahin whose HTV urged Broady punters to put the ALP last. A Lib donor apparently put up the money for his nicely produced HTV cards, which would surely be enough to justify multiple public hearings of the new intended but now delayed Independent Commission Against Commission into political deceptions and whether ministers were privy to discussions about such things. One minister who should be concerned is one of our favourites, Matthew Guy, the Planning Minister, whose bright young staffer Samli Ozturk is believed to be a close associate of Mr Sahin and may well have brokered the whole rather shadowy sly candidacy. Sahin and Ozturk’s families are both said to be from the same village in Turkey and both are involved in a Turkish community group. All enough to justify a whole taskforce of phone-tapping Elliott Nesses monitoring who paid whom and how much and for what. Is it corrupt to run as an independent when you’re really a Liberal? We think not, but Ted Baillieu’s ICAC might take a different view. Off with their heads.
TOO SEXY FOR THIS SHIRT
Back to the unique ways of the porn and sex industry’s Sex party. As we have noted, they had a near-orgasmic result, nearly coming ahead of their rivals in the Greens who are now seen as so boring, stodgy and part of the political Establishment that hipsters now turn up their nose at the oh-so-preachy enviro-dags and vote for the Sex party.
That itself is good, although we’d concede the moral contest between a suave pimp and a daggy loser extreme environmentalist is a close run thing.
Sources say the Sex Party’s operation is “ aptly enough “ rather good at faking it. They report that the party deployed at least ten “ and possibly dozens – of fake volunteers at polling places throughout the Broadmeadows seat.
One overseas back-packer who was part of their army of simulation and stimulation asked a member of the Investigations Unit “ embedded at a polling place “ on arriving at the booth whether the Sex party was for real? A not unreasonable question, we suppose.
FOREIGNERS MUST THINK WE’RE A BIT ODD
The paid Sex party worker thought it was a great joke, made all the more amusing by the fact that he was being paid $160 cash-in-hand (ICAC red alert) for the work. Certainly much more fun that working in a curry shop, construction site or factory.
When asked whether there were other paid sex party workers, he enthusiastically declared there were, saying there were at least a dozen from his St Kilda hostel who had ventured up to Broadmeadows for a taste of Australian democracy, and possibly a fine kebab after the event.
Later in the day, the back-packer turned quiet after receiving a private session (non-lap-dance) with party leader Fiona Patten who presumably told the lad to keep quiet about the issue of whether he was being paid to pump for the Sex party.
The Sex party is stealing votes from the daggy old political establishment leftard Greens and we can only cheer them on in that endeavour but as they too grow, they’ll need to begin to build a credible political infrastructure and not rely on faking it. While energetic ladies can put on quite a show, blokes with their fingers on the pulse can always tell the difference.