America Is Still Number 1


The U.S. may have recently lost its title as most obese nation to our neighbours down south in Mexico,(yeah, but there are lots of Mexicans here, too. So maybe US is still can (un)proudly claim that. Yike! but America is still winning in a lot of other not-so-great categories. Our list of ways America is still #1 explores the true essence of what it means to be an American. with stupidity and dumbness for all.

Highest Incarceration Rate
The land of the free? Not unless you count free meatloaf in America's jails. The U.S. boasts the highest incarceration rate of any country, with 730 people imprisoned out of every 100,000. They should be executed once they eat too much meatloaf. It's ridiculous! But some people DO want to be incarcerated because they have free Obamacare, free meatloaf which they can't otherwise afford if they are not in the prison, free a/c during the heat of summer, and free heater during winter storms.

Highest Bipolar Rate
America might just be the Amanda Bynes of the world. In a study of 11 countries, the U.S. proved to have the highest rate of bipolar disorder with 4.4% of citizens receiving diagnoses in their lifetimes. But fret not. Insanity is most common in wealthy countries, showing that the crazier we are, the better it is for America. It's a good thing, right? You don't like your personality, choose another one. It's freedom of choice :)

Wasting Electricity
Leaving the lights on and the AC blasting is as American as it gets, making this country a proud leader in wasting energy. Low energy productivity costs the U.S. $130 billion per year, a staggering amount except when compared to the cost of gasoline for your SUV.

Divorce Rate
The U.S. has an average of 4.95 divorces per every 1,000 people. The bad news is that's a lot of broken homes. The good news is there are plenty of easy targets on the rebound! The more the better :) I don't know about other parts of the US, but I think in California the rate is much higher than that. We counted my son's friends, and we concluded that 6 out of every 10 of them, do not have the same set of parents. How is Canada, Tjhoen?

Drug Use
Put down your pipe and pay attention. America leads the world in cannabis and cocaine usage, which makes for a sad reality but a great database of mug shots. Researchers also found that America leads the world in alcohol and tobacco usage. "Be happy. Don't worry..."

TV Watching
Americans spend way too much time in front of the boob tube. The U.S. is tied with the U.K. for the most TV watching per week, clocking in at an average of 28 hours per person. And that was before the final season of Breaking Bad started!

Teen Moms
With the popularity of shows like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant, America does a stellar job when it comes to glamorizing young moms. So much so, in fact, that the country has the highest percentage of teenage pregnancies of any developed country on Earth. Is that because the news say so? How about other countries that the teen pregnancies must be terminated?

We may not have a Nigerian prince who wants to give us a million dollars, but we do lead the world in the number of internet phishing sites with a whopping 24%. It's good to know all that stolen Internet cash is going to our neighbours.

The Most Lawyers Per Capita
No country knows how to sue better than this one, so thank goodness we have tons of attorneys chasing our ambulances. There is one lawyer for every 265 Americans, which may sound like a bad thing unless you sell billboard space.

The Cost Of Having A Baby
In the U.S., that little bundle of joy is going to cost you a big bundle of cash. A standard delivery costs $9,775, which, for mothers not covered by insurance or Medicaid, can be more painful than the labour itself.

Wine Consumption
America is number one in wine drinking, beating out France, Italy and Spain -- a list that includes countries whose citizens start drinking wine at birth. A study shows 12.54% of the world's wine consumption happens in the U.S., presumably by people who've grown immune to excruciating wine hangovers.

Plastic Surgery
The U.S. is the leader in plastic surgery with more than 21.1% of total procedures worldwide taking place within the borders of our country. Turns out the face of the nation is full of Botox and silicone.

Soft Drink Consumption
You want a Big Gulp, a Super Big Gulp or a Super Super Big Gulp? America leads the way in soft drink consumption. Males ages 12-29 are the biggest culprit, ingesting an average of 160 gallons of soda each year. We'd like to buy the world a Coke, if only so it can catch up to our gargantuan soda habit.

We Own The Most (Annoying) Devices
It's no surprise that America is a land where consumption reigns supreme, but this is especially true when it comes to our smartphones, iPads and other gizmos. As of last year, the U.S. led the world with 165 million devices. The biggest problem? Where to charge them all.

Most Twitter Users
There are more Twitter users in the U.S. than in any other country. However, the Netherlands is more active, fronting a competitive race to see which nation can make the most terrible jokes in 140 characters or less. Because in China isn't called Twitter, it's called Weibo.

The Most Millionaires...
Wouldn't it be nice to be uber-rich? Chances are someone you know is a millionaire. In America, there are 5.9 million millionaire-status households. The trick is to find out who they are so you can work your way into their inner circles. In Indonesia they aren't called millionaires, they are called Jutawan, and there are more of them in Indonesia :)

...And the Most Billionaires
Those poor millionaires they have no idea what wealth really means! Alongside the most millionaires, the U.S. also has the highest number of billionaires. Though this is primarily based off what we've heard in rap songs.

They may be hairy, loud and messy, but unlike your college room mate who bore the same traits, you love your pet pooch. In the U.S., 37% of all pet-owning households own a dog. Because they feed them, in other countries they eat them.

Cats aren't just for old spinsters any more. The U.S. is the world cat leader with more than 76 million pet felines in households across the country. And every single one of them has a video on YouTube.

Can't raise money for your weird peanut butter and jelly-themed avant-garde art installation? Make your friends pay for it! That's the logic behind crowd funding, which has risen in popularity in recent years. The U.S. leads the world in friend and family-funded projects with 72% of global crowd funding projected to come from America in 2013. Rule of thumb: Don't do business with your family or friends. That's the fastest way to lose them, unless that IS your intention.

Roller Coasters
Americans aren't afraid of a wild ride. The U.S. boasts a whopping 650 coasters, including 464 sit-down coasters and 44 inverted coasters. Now if only we could bring our guns along for the rides. Yes, you can in some states.

Worker Productivity
In spite of the lazy American stereotype, U.S. citizens stay longer in the office than those in most other nations and produce more money per person. Unfortunately, the study doesn't say how much of that time is just our workers playing Candy Crush on Facebook. Yeah, exactly! And how many of them are just in the office to stay away from their nagging spouses?

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