I find human behavior fascinating. For example, I have a friend who, for 355 days of the year, is happily single. Oh, sure, she dates from time to time, but is very content living on her own, sans intimate other—except on one “special” day of the year. And, during this one special day of the year, my friend’s entire personality changes. She literally transforms facades: one minute she is a perfectly comfortable single gal boasting about her individuality, the next she becomes a depressed soul yearning for a partner to make her whole. What gives? Oh, I see. Valentine’s Day.
Ah, February 14th. Valentine’s Day. Who is this little chubby, little cherub responsible for this “Holiday of Love,” anyway? Well, the stories of St. Valentine differ. One legend claims that Valentine was a gentle priest who lived during the third century in Rome. At this time, Rome was ruled by a cruel Emperor named Claudius who outlawed marriage for young men, stating that single men made better soldiers. Valentine spoke up against this unjust decree and defied the Emperor. He even went so far as to marry young lovers in secret ceremonies. When Emperor Claudius discovered Valentine’s acts of betrayal, the priest was soon executed.
Another tale states that while Valentine was imprisoned for his beliefs, he fell in love with his jailor’s daughter who was very kind and visited him often. Before his death, Valentine wrote the young girl a love letter, which he signed, “From your Valentine.” This expression is still used today to sign Valentine’s Day cards.
Regardless of which legend you believe, St. Valentine was a hero of love, therefore, officially became the patron saint of lovers. And it seems as if card companies all over the world have capitalized on this fact for years. It simply amazes me how a noble man’s once respectable name has been reduced to thoughts of cheap chocolate and overpriced red roses.
Help Yourself This Valentine’s Day
So, if you are in a similar situation like my friend, and spending Valentine’s Day without a date, try one of these helpful ideas:
- Do something nice for yourself. Get a massage or a facial. Splurge and buy those $200 shoes you have been eyeing up. If you enjoy the outdoors, go for an afternoon hike. Just do something that feels good and makes you happy.
- Plan to spend time with your other single friends. You can all be miserable together! Oh, I’m just kidding about the ‘miserable’ part, but being with other people who share the same issues definitely helps. Surrounding yourself with love will make you appreciate your friends more than ever.
- Remember, do not punish yourself. If you are thinking about renting a movie, romantic comedies are completely off limits. Rent a funny movie that has nothing to do with love or relationships. An action-adventure movie is also a good bet—and the more violence the better!
Admit it, those sappy V-Day cards get cheesier every year. And those stupid chocolates hearts go right to the thighs. Besides, if Valentine’s Day was a real holiday, we would have off from work—and we don’t.
If I sound a little bitter, well, maybe it’s because I am. But not for the reasons you may assume. Being married and in love with my husband, I enjoy Valentine’s Day. But what I don’t enjoy is the pressure of yet another Hallmark Holiday telling us to purchase their expensive products in order to celebrate our love for one another. At the risk of sounding contrived, love is something that should be celebrated every day, not just one wintery day a year.
So, please, if you find yourself without a date this Valentine’s Day, do not beat yourself up. Do not take your phone off of the hook, nor bite off the heads of friends who ask you what you are doing this Valentine’s Day. And whatever you do, do not lie in bed with the covers over your head thinking worthless thoughts of unloved misery. That’s no fun. Make St. Valentine proud, and share in his belief that Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love, including the love you have for yourself.
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