Mirror Mirror

Mirror, Mirror From Chicken Soup for the Soul: Twins & More

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
~Abraham Lincoln

It's indisputable: For twins, life really does imitate art―and vice versa. All I have to do is revisit my earliest memories for proof.

My identical brother, Kirk, and I grew up being constantly mistaken for each other.

Classmates, friends, teachers, even relatives couldn't tell us apart. As a result, we were often unfairly punished ("Kirk, you're grounded for not mowing the yard!") or rewarded (i.e., an increase in my monthly allowance "for being such a good son… Kirk").

Talk about being blindsided! Imagine the uncertainty we faced 24/7, never sure what the day would bring… or what the other twin had done.

Eventually, we learned how to use the Mistaken Identity Syndrome (MIS) to our advantage. For example, we would play tricks on our friends and classmates, pretending to be the other twin―you know, just to play with their heads.

Why not? All the identical twins and/or cousins on TV were doing it. (I reference the double trouble plots of Bewitched, Family Matters, I Dream of Jeannie, Saved by the Bell, and The Patty Duke Show.) We simply enjoyed pulling off these innocent pranks as did our TV counterparts.

Nor were teachers immune to our impersonation shtick. On at least one occasion, when Kirk was sick, I covered for him by taking his tests. I ask you, who wouldn't help out his ailing brother by seeing to it that he passed his English exam?

Just for the record, we tried our little game out on Mom, but she always knew who was who. Guess the old axiom is true: Mother knows best.

Once we grew up, we even "covered" for each other at work. We didn't mean any harm; we simply started this as an experiment to see whether our bosses and co-workers could tell the difference.

They couldn't.

Again, this was a prime example of life imitating art, albeit TV sitcom plot points.
As we grew older, the MIS continued. I once had someone purposefully ram her grocery cart into mine thinking I was my brother. How embarrassing it was for her when she discovered the truth! Sure, I could've played to her innocent blunder, but that would've been cruel. After all, she seemed like such a nice person.

The MIS followed us throughout our professional careers, as well. As a bank manager, I meet with dozens of clients on a daily basis, while my brother supervises a staffing service for local employers. As a result, Kirk is constantly approached by people who want to discuss their various money accounts, while I am frequently thanked on the street for placing so-and-so with the area hospital administrative staff or as a department store customer service representative. As in the grocery store incident, we never allow these awkward moments to fester into bigger awkward moments… that just wouldn't seem professional.

We have our own identical twin code of ethics, after all.

However, the MIS took a truly ironic―and outright weirder―turn when Kirk and I found ourselves unable to tell each other apart.

Years ago, before we started our professional careers, my brother worked the graveyard shift at a box-making company while I slaved away as the grill cook in a nearby fast food restaurant. It was customary for my brother to come in to the restaurant after he finished his shift to order breakfast. One early morning, I was completing an order for a patron in the dining room while casually speaking to my manager. I looked across the grill and realized my brother was standing at the front counter. I waved to him, saying, "Good morning, Kirk!" My boss looked strangely at me and said, "What are you doing?" Not really thinking, I replied, "I'm just saying hi to my brother." I looked across the grill once more and gave another wave to my brother, hoping my boss would notice that my identical twin was standing there. At that moment, my manager and I broke into hysterics. I must have been half-asleep because I soon realized the person I was waving to was not my brother at all; it was me! I was waving to my reflection in a mirror.

Not long after this humorous event, my brother and I were traveling across country in a minivan with several friends. My brother is a lot vainer than I am; his hair must always be in place. Kirk was driving when he noticed in the rearview mirror that his hair was a bit messy. He lifted his right hand to brush his hair back into place and was disturbed when his hand did not appear in the mirror. Several times he repeated this action. Finally, he started laughing when he realized he was looking at me in the seat behind him.

Apparently, it is possible for twins to mix themselves up, too, falling victim to their own Mistaken Identity Syndrome. This isn't a plot point yet explored on TV situation comedies, but who knows, there may be a new bestselling Stephen King novel there!

Like I said, for this set of twins, life definitely continues to imitate art―in more than one medium.

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