Think Twice Before Getting Married ...

Mother of Six

A man has six children and is very proud of his  achievement.

He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his  wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go  to a party.  The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to  find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He  shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of  Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

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Romantic Anniversary

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm  getting you a headstone that reads: "Here  Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "

"Yeah?" she replies.  "When you  die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:   "Here  Lies My Husband -  Stiff At Last"

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New Bride Needs Sex

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and  after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home  when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle  from you.  I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you  that I won't be home for dinner.  I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and  card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it.  Those are my rules.  Any comments?"

His new  bride said, "No, that's fine with me.  Just understand that there will  be sex here at seven o'clock every night ..whether you're here or  not."

(DAMN SHE'S  GOOD!)

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