On Mindful Monday, my readers and I practice the art of pausing, TRYING to be still, or considering, ever so briefly, the big picture. We're hoping this soul time will provide enough peace of mind to get us through the week!
This is Monday. So I'm supposed to be mindful. But I don't feel very mindful. I feel anxious, nervous, afraid, on the verge of panic. So I concentrate on my breath. I breathe in - counting to four -hold my breath and count to four, and then exhale counting to four. This helps a little bit.
It's raining, so I try to listen to the rain for a few minutes. Only the rain. Not how the drizzle prompts me to write a blog post called "15 Ways Rain Can Heal."
I try to regain my focus on what's important: being a good wife, mom, friend, and sister. And I ponder how distracted I've been the last few days, when my stinking thinking fed me a bunch of lies: how 303 friends on Facebook and a blog with millions of page views could, in fact, bring me happiness; that being quoted in Time magazine as a mental health expert can actually prevent depression, and how a bestselling book is surely the antidote for anxiety.
Those are all lies.
I know that because I tried once before. I lost my center. My middle turned all squishy, like it needed to go back into the oven. There was nothing solid holding it together. So there I was in the psych unit, with nothing to claim--every accolade gone--and the only people who stuck around were those that loved me for who I am. And I realized that all the other stuff was lies.
Christine Whelan, a talented writer and sociologist whom I interviewed here on Beyond Blue a few weeks ago wrote an excellent piece on mindfulness for the Washington Post. She describes mindfulness this way:
In mental health terms, mindfulness is the awareness that emerges from focusing on the present and the ability to perceive -- but not judge -- your own emotions with detachment; it enables you to choose helpful responses to difficult situations rather than reacting out of habit. While Western thought separates religion and science, Buddhists see mindfulness as both a spiritual and psychological force.
Mindfulness isn't simply about calming down, and it's certainly not about giving in. It's about recognizing that you're tired as you go home on a crowded Metro train, so that when somebody bumps into you, you decide to say, "Excuse me!" instead of pushing back. It's about picking an effective way to discipline your teenager for staying out until 3 a.m. rather than responding like an angry child yourself.
Dr. Whelan, a columnist for the great site Busted Halo, goes on to explain that mindfulness therapies for depression have well-documented success ... if they can help a person emerge from the destructive thought cycle that compounds the depression.
I think just the fact that I'm aware of my thought process is major progress for me. It only took me a few days to see that I was losing my focus--that I was once again believing the deceptive and seductive lies of the rat race--whoever gets there first wins! I started to chase the guy in front of me without a clue as to where he was headed. If I can only return to my breath, counting to four, and to the rain--to the sounds and sights of my present--then I can attempt to regain my focus in a world determined to take it away.
Dr. Whelan says that mindfulness can be taught:
Some people are naturally more skilled at these techniques than others, but researchers say that mindfulness can be taught. It's like muscle training, says Jim Carson, a psychologist at Oregon Health & Science University.
Short daily meditations, in which you learn to anchor your attention in the present moment by focusing on the feeling of the breath moving in your body, are good for beginners, he says.
Back to the rain.
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