Five years ago, Beliefnet blogger Janice Taylor took a mammoth leap of faith, diving headfirst into the proverbial pool of life. Determined to transform and reinvent her life and herself, she moved from large to small (size 18 to a size 4), from quiet to not-so-quiet, from stage-frightened to spotlight-craving, and from office worker to independent weight loss guru.
Today, Janice is a Life & Wellness Coach, the author of the best-selling "Our Lady of Weight Loss" and "All Is Forgiven, Move On"), a popular Beliefnet blogger, an inspiring motivational speaker, and a columnist. Her success-and the life changes that got her here--got us to wondering. How did Janice take that leap of faith and stick the landing? How did she avoid getting swallowed up by the fear monster and thoughts of failure?
Here, on the fifth anniversary of reinventing herself, Janice shares her secrets.
Leap of Faith: Ready, Fire, Aim!
It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself. ~ Muhammad Ali We all have dreams - things that we want so intensely that we can taste them. Dreams that we can see in our mind's eye and feel in our hearts. As excited and as enthusiastic as we may be, it is sometimes hard to take the first steps that can turn our dreams into our realities.
Often doubt comes rolling in and knocks the wind out of our sails. Our energy start to fade. The negative self-talk begins: "What if I fail?" "Who am I kidding?" "This will never work." "I can't do it." Your first step is to realize that this is a natural phenomenon. We all have negative thoughts. Smile at these thoughts, and then get on your mark, get set, and READY, FIRE, AIM! Yup, you heard me right. Fire first; aim later.
Breathe and Energize
Breathe in experience, breathe out poetry. ~ Muriel Rukeyser Take in a deep cleansing breath! You just jumped through the portal into life. Congratulations, and whew!
Breathing is an important part of the life-transformation plan, and it's something that we often overlook, because we think we already are breathing. Well, of course, we are, but usually not in a deep and meaningful way. Breathing releases endorphins that helps make us feel happy, enhances our appearance, and makes us feel instantly stronger and more confident. Breathing also revitalizes and energizes every cell in our body, as well as brings us back to center. So take a deep one!
Be Yourself
Be yourself, everyone else is already taken. ~ Oscar Wilde That line from Oscar Wilde has got to be the one of the best ever uttered. Truly, wishing to look like, act like, or be someone else is an enormous waste of time and energy. You are fabulous and, happily, no one can be you, it's already taken! Discover and explore each and every part of your being, your psyche, your soul. Embrace yourself fully-who you are, and who you will become as you transform your life.
Expect the Best
"Happy is the man who can make a living by his hobby."~ George Bernard Shaw in "Pygmalion" It is called the Pygmalion effect and it's a fact: If you expect the worst, you get it. Thoughts are not just insubstantial bits of information that enter our minds and fade away into the ether; thoughts are concrete things. Our words, ideas, and beliefs shape our daily lives. So get out of victim mode. You are worthy. Your dreams are within your reach. Imagine positive situations with happy outcomes.
Instead of asking yourself, "Well, what's the worst thing that can happen?" Ask yourself, "What's the best thing that can happen?" Expect the best!
Reframe Failure as the "F" Word
"There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them." ~ Thomas Krause Do you remember when you were a kid and you were playing a game and made a fumble, and yelled, "Do over - do over - do over?" Well, grown-ups can yell "do over" too.
We've been conditioned to think of failing as a big, fat, shame-filled "F," bringing forth punishment (like summer school). Truly though, failure is just a word that sets off a reaction in us. Let's take failure, change our reaction to this "F" word, and reframe it.
Okay, so things didn't turn out the way you wanted, or go the way you planned. Take a look at the situation without judgment. Ask yourself, "What really happened here? How can I experience this as feedback? What can I do differently next time?" No judgment, just learning. No failures, just feedback.
Use Your "Want Power"
There is no such thing as will power; only want power. ~ Our Lady of Weight Loss It's not about your "will," it's about your "want." "Using your "want power" means that you want something enough to make the necessary changes in your lifestyle to get it, and to make sure that you have all the tools and support that you need to make those changes. It's the preparation that guarantees success. Want power means that you are willing to do what it takes to get what you want. Get on your walking shoes, because you are about to go that extra mile!
Show Up!
Eighty percent of success is showing up. ~ Woody Allen Each and every morning I show up. Simple as that. I start the day by asking myself a very simple yet powerful question. "How will I show up today?" And then I take out my "show up" journal and write.
There's no yes or no in it; there's no right or wrong in it. And on a subconscious level, using the words "will I" in the question implies that you will yourself to and you will show up today. Writing down the question each day taps into your subconscious mind, which then sends the answers straight through your fingers, through the pen, and onto the page. Do not think; just be present with the pen and write. "Showing up" may look different from day to day and that's okay, because each day is different and brings forth different resources that live within.
Motivate
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. ~ Zig Ziglar Isn't that the truth! Showing up and getting motivated go hand-in-hand.. Having shown up, I remind myself each day of what my goals are and what I need to do to move successfully throughout the day, toward my goals. At first, it may seem that staying motivated takes conscious effort, and it does! But once you are in the habit of showing up and motivating yourself, it will become as automatic as brushing your teeth.
Give Yourself Permission
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same" ~ Nelson Mandela Reinvention and transformation come with new challenges. By stretching your envelope, your limits, and your thoughts, you are able to achieve more than you ever imagined. Give yourself permission to dream BIG, to do MORE, to BELIEVE in yourself. In other words, give yourself permission to be you. Take the time to show up and take care of yourself. Give yourself permission to do, be, act however you need to so that you can give yourself whatever it is that you truly want from your life.
Practice ForgiveMess
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." ~ Lewish B. Smedes No, that's not a typo. You really are creating quite a mess for yourself when you carry around years and platters-full of anger, upset, and resentment towards others and yourself. And while you may well be justified in your anger, because what so-and-so said and/or did was truly horrific, think about it. Who are you hurting? Yourself.
Frustration and aggravation can weigh you down both metaphorically and literally. Free yourself from guilt, anger, and hurt. Let the bitters go! Create space for success, abundance, prosperity, love, happiness, and enthusiasm. Repeat after me, "All is Forgiven, Move On!"
Choose What You'll Tolerate
"A leaky faucet, a barking dog - those are things you tolerate." ~ Candace Gingrich What are you putting up with, what are you stomaching? What's getting in your way? What are you tolerating? It could be as simple as the dust behind the refrigerator, or could be a more complicated matter like a certain person in your life, or it could be one of those really tough things - bad hair days!
Any time you sincerely want to change your life, one of the first things you must do is change what you demand for yourself and raise your standards. Imagine all your "tolerations" as stones, twigs, and rocks - maybe even fallen trees - which you have essentially placed onto your path and have to maneuver around every day.
These stumbling blocks slow us down and sap our energy. As you clear your path, you will travel faster and more smoothly It will become increasingly easier to recognize and to say no to anything that could slow you down. Clear your path, and you will create space for your best self.
Toss Reality Out the Window
"I reject your reality and substitute it for my own."~ Adam Savage Yes, I am advising you to set unreasonable goals if you want to transform your life. As "they" say, it's the journey that matters, not whether you reach the exact destination you thought you were heading towards. After all, the act of pursuing a goal activates the release of dopamine in the brain. Dopamine affects our capacity to feel pleasure and pain. Once the goal has been reached, the pleasure stops. So, it makes sense then to set a totally unreasonable goal, outside your comfort zone, and create small goals on the way to it. As you work toward your big "G," you will accomplish many little g's. It's a win/win!
Fear: What is it Good For? Absolutely Nothing!
Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live. ~ Dorothy Thompson "They" say that you have to be fearless. I say, "Be real. Who's not afraid?" The thing about fear is that you simply do not want to let it paralyze you, stop you from moving forward, or get in your way.
How can you do that? What if you make friends with fear and invite it in? "Hello fear! Come on in." When you do this, you will soon realize that you have survived your fear. You can let it go now. Knock fear out of the ballpark, circle the bases, and head on home. You are the champion of your newly transformed life!
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