Given the current economic crisis, many people are filled with fear, anger, and resentment, which can easily spill over into other areas of our lives. Millions have lost their homes, their jobs and retirement savings and feel victimized and like they have lost control over their lives.
As human beings, it is in our nature to want to place blame on something or someone in order to cope with our feelings, creating our grievance story. Anger and blame can be a way of feeling in control, but in actuality, it really leaves us powerless. Some people are also blaming themselves for their financial challenges thinking "if only I had done this..." or, "I can't believe I did that" or, "what was I thinking?!!" This kind of blame only fuels our fear, anger and resentment and deepens the negative charge we have around the problem.
So, how do we release the harmful feelings and negativity around our financial circumstances?
Forgiveness is a great tool for releasing negative thought and feelings which can be toxic and counter-productive. We are all looking for peace; peace of mind, body and spirit, right? In order to find it, it is very important to examine what our own responsibility is in the situation and to own our role in it. Once we have forgiven ourselves, it is easier to move forward to forgive others who have hurt or harmed us.
In her video, Beliefnet contributor Joan Borysenko says that forgiveness helps us to create more empowerment, spaciousness and willingness to look at a larger point of view. Another reason to forgive is that it's good for you! According to author and forgiveness expert Fred Luskin, there is now scientific evidence that that forgiveness can reduce anger, depression and stress, which ultimately will improve your physical and emotional health.
Here are some key points to keep in mind when working through your forgiveness process.
1. Forgiveness is first and foremost for you. It is about taking back your power so that you can see and receive the good around you.
2. Forgiveness allows you to shift your perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings and thoughts that are plaguing you, not what offended or hurt you ten minutes -- or ten years -- ago. Whether you are experiencing the loss of a job, your home or retirement savings, this loss is the real issue, not who did it to you. Grieving a loss is an important process in and of itself, but forgiveness is the first step. Anger often denies us access to the pain of loss. Forgiveness will help you clear the anger and resentment so that you can begin to feel the loss.
3. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to make amends with the person. They don't even have to know because it's not about them. Forgiveness offers you the opportunity to be at peace with the situation. This can be as simple as forgiving the investment company who managed your 401K, or Wall Street, or your mortgage broker. Make a list and forgive them so that you can be free of this energetically and emotionally.
4. Remember forgiveness is a process. It's not always easy and it takes time to heal. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to go through your own process. I recommend writing a forgiveness letter to get your feelings on paper. Through writing, you can express your feelings openly either directly to the person or even to yourself. You do not have to give the letter to the person you are forgiving, it is your own process for letting go and creating your "forgiveness story."
Ultimately, forgiveness is a step towards greater spiritual and emotional expansion. It allows you to create the space for letting go of negativie thoughts and feelings so that you can be free of the past and move forward to create the next chapter of your life.
Here's a wonderful prayer to assist you with this forgiveness process:
Oh Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love,
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
And it is in dying that we are born
To eternal life.
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