"I'm a Virgin but this is an old T-shirt"
"I love midget porn" 
"World's greatest dad" - a child sex abuser
"I'm Rick James bitch"
"If we get caught it's all your fault"
"Every great idea I have, gets me in trouble"
"Nobody's Perfect"
"It wasn't me"
"I'm not Santa, but you can sit on my lap anyway"
"Trust me... I'm a liar"
"I'm not an Alcoholic... I'm a drunk... Alcoholics go to meetings"
"FBI - Female body inspector"
"Proud to be Irish"
"I'm probably lying"
"Wish you were here"
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