Spiritual Parenting Tips

Here's what Beliefnet parents do to keep the faith at home.

Parents are the real child-rearing experts. So when we wanted advice on raising spiritual kids, we turned to Beliefnet's family of contributors and bloggers to find out what they believe is most important. Although they come from a variety of religious traditions, their ideas can apply to any faith.

David Kuo

Pray, pray, pray...Teach your kids that communicating with God is as basic as communicating with others.

Rabbi Brad Hirschfield

Children need to know they are loved unconditionally. There is nothing they could do that would make us stop loving them. Even when we are really angry at our kids, even if we have to punish them, we remind them that we love them no matter what, and that we are upset with a particular action that they did, which is small compared to the love that we have for them.

Mimi Doe

Trust and teach that all life is connected and has a purpose.

Shoba Narayan

Teach children prayers that are specific to their needs. If your child gets scared of the dark, help her with a psalm or prayer that addresses her fears and to chant it every time she walks into a dark room. If nothing else, chanting will distract her from her fears.

Establish spiritual rituals around their days. These don't need to be elaborate, just consistent. For example, play spiritual music first thing in the morning--it is a peaceful way to wake up.

Help kids ask from an early age, "What is it I can GIVE?" rather than "What is it I can GET."

Help children listen to their intuitive voice within, their gut feeling, their inner compass. This can help guide them through life.

Amy Cunningham

Let them see you doing your practice, whether it's yoga, meditation, teaching Sunday School, or attending a spiritual parents circle.

Point out the beauty of nature, the sounds of the birds, the angle of the sun's rays, the wonderful characteristics of parents, friends, and other children. Expose them to quality media--beautiful books, music, movies, artwork.

Don't turn their earliest mistakes into character flaws. This can kill a child's soul faster than anything. And let them see you shape your reality moment by moment, never assuming that if a morning had a bad start, the rest of the day is shot.

Hesham Hassaballa

Teach your children that God loves them. He is beautiful, loving, kind, and merciful. He is the best friend anyone could have. Teach them to love God in return because He has given them so much. The best way to love Him is to do what He wants of us.

Therese Borchard

Don't read too much advice like the kind I'm giving you right now, because it can be toxic to your parental instinct, if you are as impressionable and insecure as I am. Rip up the script, because parenting is about one surprise on top of another. Try your best to be kind, and teach by example (hence, my kids pace the kitchen with toy cell phones glued to their ears...).

Sharon Linnea

Have a family dinner at least three times a week, and when you talk about "how your day was," explain to the kids not only what you did but why you did it, and how your spiritual worldview guides your actions.

Watch your attitude in the car and elsewhere. Yelling at road hogs or the waitress speaks volumes to your children about your TRUE attitude toward those around you.

Pray with your kids one-on-one before bed. Pass along your love for them, and your love for God. Invite them to ask questions about their faith, give them room to doubt and explore. Tell them of times you've seen God work in your life.

Douglas Howe

The worst moments happen when our frustration turns into accusation:

"You blew it."
"You'll never get it."
"I don't even know why I try to teach you these things."
"What...ever! You figure it out, I'm done trying."
"You're grounded...for life!"

How we model correction and coaching for kids doesn't have to be so negative for them and frustrating for us. But it starts with our taking the self-discipline we've learned in our faith and not exempting ourselves from practicing it repeatedly and consistently with our kids. They do not deserve our venting, nor are they equipped to deal with it.

Frederica Mathewes-Green

Keep a blank book or journal handy in the kitchen to write down all the funny and wonderful things the children say; it will be a treasure when they're grown.

Use the magic words "Stop stop stop" if anything is getting to be too much (tickling, teasing, anything scary). All siblings and parents agree to stop the behavior immediately. Everyone keeps this rule because they all might need to use it some time.

Dirt is good for kids. Clothing is replaceable, childhood isn't. If, at the end of the day, the children are muddy, sweaty, and exhausted, it was a good day.

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