Dan's Death Still Teaching Me Lessons: Live Simply

I know it's relationships week and all that, but I thought I'd publish a spontaneous post on my thoughts following the death of Dan a week and a half ago. I received an e-mail today from my former typing teacher (who gave me a C and ruined my GPA, thank you very much!) who was there the night Dan gave his speech and then collapsed. She sent me the story from the Dayton Daily News:

When former Alter High School basketball captain Dan Meyer learned he had been nominated for the school's Hall of Fame, the 1966 graduate wasn't sure he was deserving.

But in the end he was thrilled. And as he visited old haunts on Friday, Jan. 30, Meyer snapped a photo of his childhood home on his cell phone, marveling, "The hoop's still there."

As Meyer faced a crowd of 250 people that night for the ceremony, his old friend Bob Vari thought Meyer seemed nervous but he wasn't worried. "Dan always comes through in pressure situations," he told himself.

Meyer delivered a rousing speech about what it means to be an Alter Knight. He closed with a benediction: "May God hold you in the palm of his hand, today and for all of eternity."

Those were the last words he ever spoke.

"He's our fallen Knight," a tear-stricken Katie Meyer said of the father who died during one of the proudest moments of his life -- a very public death that traumatized the audience but united them in a profoundly communal experience.

I told my teacher that Dan's death was still very much on my mind, that I keep making adjustments in my day after I ask myself, "If I die today, would I be satisfied with my life? Are my priorities right?"

It has made me approach our financial situation differently. Instead of manically pursuing new work to make up for the dough that Eric isn't making, I'm evaluating our budget and crossing off almost everything that isn't totally necessary: coffee and bagels with Eric; expensive summer camps; babysitters; ice-cream treats; cleaning help every other week; dinner out with the girls; conferences and work trips to New York; magazine and newspaper subscriptions; a home telephone line; flowers for Valentine's day. All of it is getting bagged because I don't want to have to be stressed out and work the long hours necessary to pay for all of it. Moreover, I'm finding out that making tea (25 cents a cup versus three bucks) with Eric and sitting by the dock is more fun anyway than hanging out at our local coffee house.

Eric's e-mail to me to me this morning made me realize how Dan's death (mixed in with the economy) has got us both reevaluating what, in the final inning, is important. Eric wrote: "I'll personally be happy cleaning toilets and eating grilled cheese as long as you're in my life. Hopefully we'll get back to talking about things other than money, but I think there is a lesson in all of this, and that is we can live simply and be just as happy."

Thanks, Dan, for continuing to teach me even after your death.

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