Meditation 101: No Bird Nest

I was sorry to see Beliefnet’s other woman blog, "Chattering Mind," come to an end because 1) I learned much of my blogging techniques and tricks from Amy Cunningham (when Beliefnet launched Beyond Blue, my very smart editor told me to study "Chattering Mind" as my model), and 2) "Chattering Mind" provided the peaceful take on life that balanced out my sometimes-chaotic and- frenzied posts.

So I called up Amy, and said this: "Shoot, you’re going away. How can Beyond Blue embrace the calmness that you sent out to cyberspace?"

During our conversation I asked her, flat out: "Do you transcend?" (which I felt embarassed asking, as if I was asking her if/how often she orgasmed).

She laughed. "No."

And then she said something that wasbeyond comforting for a person like me with an attention span of an ADHD seven-year-old who forgot to take his Ritalin:

"Meditation is a practice, so anyone sitting down to do it should not expect much and certainly not assume it will make them happier. In fact, meditation teachers say that if you expect too much from meditation, meditation will quickly cause you to become disillusioned and quite unhappy."

As I implied above, my problem is that I approach meditation like it’s sex and because I never orgasm (or transcend) I assume I’m doing it wrong.

"All you have to do is sit down, focus on the inhales and the exhales of your breathing, and realize that your body is doing all kinds of things without you having to orchestrate every action," Amy told me. "Let thoughts rise up, smile softly at them, and then send them off in a helium balloon above your personal ocean."

That was the same advice one of my other friends who’s way into meditation told me.

"Imagine any distracting thought like a bird," he explained. "He may land on your head. That’s okay. Just don’t let him nest."

I wish he hadn’t used that analogy because now whenever I try to meditate I immediately picture myself as Ellen (Debra Winger) in the 1995 flick, "Forget Paris" (with Billy Crystal), with a bird nest stuck to my hair, totally freaking out.

"I am not the total pro, but I have learned that sitting is just sitting, nothing more," Amy explained. "Some days it is nice, some days I'm restless, some days it is nothing, just boring."

She later quoted Lama Surya Das, one of the foremost American Lamas in the Buddhist tradition, who said, "The mind is a terrible thing to watch."

And then Swami Chetananda, (do all swami
s have long last names?) who said this:

"When you are with someone you love very much, you can talk and it is pleasant, but the reality is not in the conversation. It is in simply being together. Meditation is the highest form of prayer. In it you are so close to God that you don't need to say a thing--it is just great to be together."

We will certainly miss you, Amy! Please come back when you’re ready.

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