In celebration of Mother's Day, here's a list of some of the funniest 'symptoms' of motherhood. By Angela Jones
1. You plan your day according to when
2. You have signed a check with a crayon.
3. You find Goldfish crackers in the glove box of your car.
4. You wipe other kids' noses.
5. You have accidentally brushed your teeth with Desitin.
6. You have caught spit-up in your hand.
7. You leave for a date with your husband carrying a diaper bag instead of your purse.
8. You have memorized the entire lineup of Saturday morning cartoons.
9. You have finally paid for all of your groceries and are heading out of the doors when you realize one of your kids has lost a shoe somewhere in the store.
10. You can recite Goodnight Moon and Green Eggs and Ham by heart.
11. You let your baby sit in his dirty diaper until Oprah is over.
12. You have shared a fifteen-minute conversation about your baby with a complete stranger at the grocery store.
13. You filled up your child's baby book before her first tooth appeared.
14. You silently curse people if they call during naptime.
15. You forgot your mother-in-law's first name because you now only refer to her as "Grandma."
16. You arrange your travel itinerary based on McDonald's Playland locations.
17. You are just as surprised when you sleep through the night as when your child does.
18. You consider the person who invented the Sippy Cup a genius.
19. You see a mom from your child's playgroup at the mall and know her son's name but not hers.
20. You consider it a major triumph if you shower by noon.
21. You justify every excessive crying spell with teething.
22. You pick up the phone and call your mother when your baby rolls over for the first time.
23. You have kept your favorite babysitter a secret from other mothers in your playgroup.
24. You have your pediatrician's telephone number on speed-dial.
25. You own the entire Baby Einstein DVD collection.
26. You find yourself humming the "Rubber Duckie" song in the shower.
27. You have dressed your baby in whatever is on top of the clean laundry pile.
28. You cry at Johnson & Johnson commercials.
29. You have considered trading your whole life savings for just one good night of sleep.
30. You see your parents in a whole new light.
31. You consider parenting to be the best job in the world.
Reprinted of Angela Jones (c) 2005 from Chicken Soup for the Soul: Life Lessons for Busy Moms by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Dorothy K. Breininger, Debby S. Bitticks and Lynn Benson.
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