A Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens...
The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.
We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.
However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.
Now consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?
Believe it or not ........ a Congress!
I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Our Council !
You just can’t make this stuff up.
Go green – Recycle Congress in 2014!
A Congress Mean...
Some Wacky Mature Quotes
If necessity is the mother of invention, then… Frustration is the father of masturbation!
Always marry a woman with small palms. It makes your dick look bigger !
I believe in safe sex...I've got a handrail around the bed.
Just remember: No matter how hot & sexy a babe is, someone somewhere is tired of fucking her!
The difference between sex and death is that, with death, you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Life without Friends is like Boobs without Nipples... POINTLESS !
Go braless: it'll pull the wrinkles out of your face.
The importance of UNITY explained at it's best: What did one leg of a woman tell the other: UNITED we are saved, Divided we are Fucked.
Old Proverb: A smile is a curve that makes everything straight.
New Proverb: Boobs are curves that make Something super straight...!
Slogan on a boy's T-shirt: Please tell your boobs not to stare at my eyes.
Fuck a girl ; she'll love you... Love a girl; she'll fuck you!
All those who proclaim that dog is man's best friend, have evidently not played with a pussy.
The irony of a blow job is that even if you have her at your feet she's got you by the balls.
You Think English Is Easy?
The crazy English language
1. A bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full, it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present his present.
8. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
9. I did not object to the object.
10. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
11. There was a row amongst the oarsman about how to row.
12. They were too close to the door to close it.
13. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
14. A seamstress and a sewer fell into the sewer.
15. To help with the planting a farmer taught his sow to sow.
16. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
17. Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
18. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
19. How can I intimate this to my intimate friend ?
Let’s face it. English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England nor French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
Mincemeat is sweet and doesn’t contain any meat at all.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham ?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth ?
If on your foot your wear a boot, then on your feet you should wear beet.
One goose, 2 geese. So, one mouse, 2 meese ? One mouse, 2 mice so one house, 2 hice ?
One index, 2 indices?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend ?
You can be disgruntled but not gruntled ?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it ?
If teachers taught, why don’t preachers praught ?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat ?
If I drink and get drunk, can I think what I thunk ?
Sometimes I think all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital ? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship ?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, whilst a wise man and a wise guy are opposites ?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible.
There is a two letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other two letter word, and that is “UP”.
It is easy to understand UP, meaning towards the sky or the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning why do we wake UP ?
At a meeting, why does the topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP the report?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning … people stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP.
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost ¼ of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways in which UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn’t rain for a while, things dry UP.
One could go on and one but I will wrap this UP for now my time is UP, so it’s time to shut UP.
What Women Want in a Man?
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
Revised List (age 32):
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week
Revised List (age 42):
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady ” splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends
Revised List (age 52):
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends
Revised List (age 62):
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why hes laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that its the weekend
Revised List (age 72):
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet
The Good Old Days, Before and After Internet
As time marches forward it is becoming increasingly difficult to remember what life was like before the Internet. For some of today's youth the Internet in it's current form has always existed. So let's take a moment to reminisce about what life was like before the Internet (and what has changed since it's conception) before we all forget.
Before: Family time was spent watching TV or playing board games together.
After: Family time is spent in separate corners of the house, each on their own computer instant messaging one another.
Before: People could properly spell and used decent grammar.
After: Now thx 2 IM and SMS, they spel lik dis. LOL!!!!!!
Before: We wrote letters to friends and loved ones far away, and maybe even the occasional Pen Pal.
After: Now we just forward joke e-mails and Internet hoaxes to loved ones and friends while not even bothering to remove the hundreds of forwarded addresses contained within the message. By the way, what's a Pen Pal?
Before: Door-to-door Encyclopedia salesmen.
After: Wikipedia donations.
Before: Recording industry execs making fat profits all-the-while complaining about the bootlegging of their music.
After: Recording industry execs making fat profits all-the-while complaining about illegal downloading via p2p networks.
Before: We used the Dewey Decimal System and Microfilm to find information at local Libraries.
After: Google
Before: Phone books
After: Search engines
Before: Teen lines
After: Cell phones, IM, SMS, email, Skype, etc...
Before: Floating checks to avoid overdrafting your checking account.
After: Immediately bouncing checks (or maybe you're asking yourself what is a Check?)
Before: Getting caught looking at your Father's Playboy.
After: Catching your Dad looking at Internet porn because he forgot to clear his browser history.
Before: Kids would hang out at Video Arcades, Malls, Roller Rinks, and pizza places.
After: Kids hang out at MySpace.com ...............Speaking of MySpace...
Before: I have a friend named Tom.
After: Everyone has a friend named Tom and no one realizes they can easily get rid of him.
Before: People went on blind dates or met people at the bar to find romance.
After: Now we sit at home alone and surf Match.com to find romance.
Before: We scoured the neighborhoods for Garage Sales with the best junk to buy.
After: eBay and Craigslist.
Before: VCRs and TV Guide
After: Tivo
Before: Walking billboards, bumper stickers and print advertising.
After: Viral videos and forehead advertising.
Before: Gossiping about a friend, neighbor, family member, or cow-orker.
After: We google people to get dirt on them.
Before: Shopping the day after Thanksgiving not quite sure of the deals you will find.
After: Planning your Black Friday assault in October thanks to web sites like BlackFridayAds.com.
Before: Newspapers, Radio, and TV.
After: Social news sites, Podcasts, and YouTube.
Before: Commuting to work by car, bus or train.
After: Telecommuting to work in your underwear.
Before: We got our news from the likes of Rather, Jennings and Brokaw.
After: We get our news from the likes of Stewart, Colbert, and Drudge.
Before: Children wrote letters to Santa Claus and mailed them to the North Pole.
After: Children send email to Santa Claus at northpole.com and track his progress Christmas Eve via satellites on NoradSanta.org
Before: Dear Diary, ....
After: Don't you read my blog?
Before: Broadway shows - The Sound of Music
After: Broadway shows - Avenue Q - The internet is for porn - porn, porn, porn,porn- The internet is for porn!!
Warning at Wal-Mart Supercenter
It happened at Wal-Mart Supercenter Store #1279, 10411 N Freeway 45, Houston, TX 77037 a month ago. I bought a bunch of stuff, over $150, & I glanced at my receipt as the cashier was handing me the bags. I saw a cash-back of $40. I told her I didn't request a cash back & to delete it. She said I'd have to take the $40 because she couldn't delete it. I told her to call a supervisor. Supervisor came & said I'd have
to take it. I said NO! Taking the $40 would be a cash advance against my Discover & I wasn't paying interest on a cash advance!!!!! If they couldn't delete it then they would have to delete the whole order. So the supervisor had the cashier delete the whole order & re-scan everything! The second time I looked at the electronic pad before I signed & a cash-back of $20 popped up. At that point I told the cashier & she deleted it. The total came out right. The cashier agreed that the electronic pad must be defective. Obviously the cashier knew the electronic pad was defective because she NEVER offered me the $40 at the beginning. Can you imagine how many people went through before me & at the end of her shift how much money she pocketed?
Just to alert everyone. My co worker went to Milford, DE Wal-Mart last week. She had her items rung up by the cashier. The cashier hurried her along and didn't give her a receipt. She asked the cashier for a receipt and the cashier was annoyed and gave it to her. My co worker didn't look at her receipt until later that night. The receipt showed that she asked for $20 cash back. SHE DID NOT ASK FOR CASH BACK! My co-worker called Wal-Mart who investigated but could not see the cashier pocket the money. She then called her niece who works for the bank and her niece told her this. This is a new scam going on. The cashier will key in that you asked for cash back and then hand it to her friend who is the next person in line.
Please, please, please check your receipts right away when using credit or debit cards!
This is NOT limited to Wal-Mart, although they are the largest retailer so they have the most incidents
I am adding to this. My husband and I were in Wal-Mart North Salisbury and paying with credit card when my husband went to sign the credit card signer he just happen to notice there was a $20 cash back added. He told the cashier that he did not ask nor want cash back and she said this machine has been messing up and she cancelled it. We really didn't think anything of it until we read this email.
I wonder how many "seniors" have been, or will be, "stung" by this one????
To make matters worse ...THIS SCAM CAN BE DONE ANYWHERE, AT ANY RETAIL OR WHOLESALE LOCATION!!!
Muslim sign in Texas about 911
Houston, Texas
Harwin Central Mall: The very first store that you come to when you walk from the lobby of the building into the shopping area
Had this sign posted on their door. The shop is run by Muslims.
Feel free to share this with others.
In case you are not able to read the sign below, it says
"We will be closed on Friday, September 11, 2009 to commemorate the martyrdom of Imam Ali"
Imam Ali flew one of the planes into the twin towers.
Nice huh?
Try telling me we're not in a
Religious war!
THIS HAS NOT BEEN AROUND....SO MAKE SURE IT DOES!
Cold or Allergies
Do you have a cold or allergies? How to find out and get better fast
You're stuffed up, you're sniffling – but is it an allergy or is it a cold?
It's not always easy to tell, even for someone like Dr. Kevin Lunde, an otolaryngologist at Baylor Plano.
"At times, I have performed allergy testing on patients with recurrent nasal and upper respiratory symptoms to help determine if allergies or colds are the cause," Lunde says.
It's important to figure it out because the treatments are different. After all, the antihistamines that can do so much for easing your allergy distress are not going to help your cold and might even make it worse. Up to 5 percent of allergies and colds will leave you vulnerable to sinus-tract infections, which are bacterial and call for antibiotics.
Sometimes it takes a little detective work to figure out what ails you.
"If you get sick with sneezing, sore throat and muscle aches, and it happens every September, it's probably allergies," says Dr. J. Robert Wyatt, an ear, nose and throat specialist and president of the Dallas Academy of Otolaryngology. Wyatt, who practices at Baylor Plano and in Forest Park Medical Center, notes that late August to late September is the height of ragweed season in Dallas.
If you don't usually get sick in September, but you spent time at your toddler's school hanging around with his little playmates and find yourself sniffling three days later, it's probably a cold, he adds.
Kids can pass colds back and forth to each other and bring them home throughout the school year. And allergy season can last most of the year, adds Dr. Sandeep Gupta, an allergist at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital Dallas and Baylor Plano.
(A quick rundown: January and February are worst for mountain cedar; March is spring trees; spring and summer include trees and grass pollen. Gupta says August and December are mild overall for pollen allergies, but mold spores are present year-round.)
Which is why the duration and speed of the symptoms may provide even better clues:
• Colds, which are viruses that damage and kill cells by entering them and multiplying, hit suddenly and usually leave in about three to five days, although symptoms can linger for a few days after the virus itself has passed.
• Allergies, which occur when your immune system overreacts to something like pollen that is not really a threat, come on slowly and linger through the three or four weeks, or as long as the allergen is around.
• Additional signs for colds include mild fevers, lymph node enlargement, muscle aches and coughing.
• Allergies are more characterized by sneezing, itching and rashes, and shiners under the eyes that are caused by inflammation.
What to do
There are some common treatments for both. Experts recommend eight hours of sleep, daily exercise for an optimum 60 minutes and eight glasses of water daily. Many doctors recommend daily sinus rinses, humidifiers and warm chicken soup as well. All of these measures can help prevent or lessen the symptoms as well as help you bounce back sooner.
With colds, you may also want to take acetaminophen (Tylenol) for mild fever and muscle pain. You want to make sure to keep resting for at least a week to 10 days, even if you feel better on the third or fourth day: Your immune system may be low, and you may be more vulnerable to infection.
For allergies, the best offense is a good defense – avoid what you are allergic to. If you can't do that, take over-the-counter allergy medications such as loratadine (Claritin) and cetirizine (Zyrtec) as needed, noting that cetirizine can cause drowsiness. Consult with your doctor before taking allergy medications with decongestants, such as Claritin D and Zyrtec D, because they can affect blood pressure.
If these don't help, your doctor may want to prescribe more intense allergy medications or discuss allergy shots, which can decrease sensitivity to allergens over time for some people.
If you are a frequent allergy sufferer, Wyatt recommends having your doctor examine your nose for nasal polyps (noncancerous lumps of swollen tissues that can get bigger over time), enlarged turbinates (ridges inside your nose that can get bumpier over time) and deviated septum (when the cartilage inside your nose is bent), all of which can result in symptoms that can be mistaken for allergic reactions. These problems can be fixed surgically.
Young children should also be watched carefully for signs of colds or allergies, as their immune systems might not be as strong as those of older children or adults, says Dr. J. Andrew Bird, an allergy and immunology specialist at Children's Medical Center Dallas, and assistant professor of pediatrics at UT Southwestern Medical Center.
"As we age, our immune system develops a memory response that is protective against future infections of the same type," he notes.
Because colds and allergies can lead to sinus infections, it is important to watch for those symptoms as well – a thick, yellowish discharge and fever. See your doctor immediately, as antibiotics are usually recommended when there is a bacterial infection.
A word on the flu
While colds and allergies do not cause the flu, the flu is a virus much like a giant cold that can lead to high, damaging fevers and pneumonia, Wyatt says.
Wyatt says the best time to get a flu shot is in October, because that's early enough to give you immunity for the flu season, but late enough for your immunity to last until the flu season ends in the spring.
FluMist, a nasal spray flu vaccine, can also be helpful and provide a "route of protection" if the individual has a healthy immune system, Bird notes.
Check with your doctor about any vaccine first, however.
Star Fruit Can Kill
This fruit can end your life!
This is not an April Fool Joke. But a stern reminder to all my readers. We were advised to have a few servings of fruits a day in order to rep the benefits of fruits right? But obviously this is one big no-no fruit to be excluded from your fruity feast!
In Shenzen, more than 10 people who consumes the star fruit had died. And now a 66-year-old, Malaysian who has been suffering from kidney ailment fell into coma after eating the star fruits.
Yes, all it takes is one fruit or 100ml of its juice and the ordinarily harmless star fruit transforms poison in a matter of hours for kidney patients. So does this mean, people without kidney problems should be fine with star fruit! Not at all! Prevention is better right?
University Malaya Medical Centre consultant nephrologist said that star fruits contain a neurotoxin which is not present in other fruits. It affects the brain and nerves. In healthy persons, the kidneys filter it out. But for those with kidney problems, this potent toxin cannot be removed and will worsen the consumers' conditions.
The symptoms of start fruit poisoning include:
~ Hiccups
~ Numbness and weakness
~ Feeling confused
~ Agitation
~ Epileptic fist
The risk of death is high if you are having kidney ailments! But healthy individuals should beware of this fruit's potential toxin too. It could also cripple your vitality if you are not lucky. So don't take it for granted. It's better to avoid them. Please pass this news to others.
So be warned. If you have kidney impairment, DO NOT consume Starfruit or Starfruit juice.
Your Love Poem
Your soul is like the vastest sea
And mine a darting fish:
I lose myself within your love;
I live within your heart.
I breathe your love: it is my air,
My element, my world.
I know no other ambiance;
I have no other dream.
I know there is outside your love
A world of rocks and sand;
And I could live there, too, but oh!
How poor and thin each breath!
How rich my world, how beautiful,
Alive within your love,
Each moment filled with dancing light
Refracted through your eyes!
The Secret Of Happiness
One day, one friend asked another,
"How is it that you are always so happy?
You have so much energy,
And you never seem to get down."
With her eyes smiling, she said,
"I know the Secret!"
"What secret is that?"
To which she replied,
"I'll tell you all about it,
But you have to promise to
Share the Secret with others."
"The Secret is this:
I have learned there is little I can do
In my life that will make me truly happy.
I must depend on God to make
Me happy and to meet my needs.
When a need arises in my life,
I have to trust God to supply
According to HIS riches.
I have learned most of the time
I don't need half of what I think I do.
He has never let me down.
Since I learned that 'Secret', I am happy."
The questioner's first thought was,
"That's too simple!"
But upon reflecting over her own life
She recalled how she thought a bigger house
Would make her happy, but it didn't!
She thought a better paying job
Would make her happy, but it hadn't.
When did she realize her greatest happiness?
Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren,
Playing games, eating pizza or reading a story,
A simple gift from God.
Now you know it too!
We can't depend on people to make us happy.
Only GOD in His infinite wisdom can do that.
Trust HIM!
And now I pass the Secret on to you!
So once you get it, what will you do?
YOU have to tell someone the Secret, too!
That GOD in His wisdom will take care of YOU!
But it's not really a secret...
We just have to believe it and do it...
Natural therapy for opening the veins of the heart
No need for any Angiography or Bypass...
Please pass on this to your well wishers...
Natural therapy for opening the veins of the heart.
Lemon juice 01 cup
Ginger juice 01 cup
Garlic juice 01 cup
Apple vinegar 01 cup
Mix all above and boil in light flame approximately half
Hour, when it becomes 3 cups, take it out and keep it
For cooling. After cooling, mix 3 cups of natural honey
And keep it in bottle.
Every morning before breakfast use one Table spoon
Regularly. Your blockage of Vein's will open.
No need any Angiography or by pass.
Please pass on this to your real well wishers.
Wishing you a hale and healthy life.
This therapy is form :
Prof. Dr. S. Vikineswary
Biotech Division
Institute of Biological Sciences
University of Malaya
50603 Kuala Lumpur
Malaysia
Greg Gutfield To Open A Gay Bar Next To Ground Zero Mosque To Cater To “Islamic Gay Men”
by Jon Bershad
No, this is not a joke. In fact, it is instead one of the most brilliant pieces of provocations in recent years.Greg Gutfield from Fox News’ Red Eyeannounced today via his blog that he is actively speaking to investors and plans on opening a gay bar next to the controversial mosque being built near Ground Zero in New York. To make matters worse (better?) the bar will be specifically designed to cater to homosexuals of the Islamic faith. God, this is going to be an exciting block.
Here’s Gutfield’s entire post which he will expand upon during tonight’s Red Eye:
“So, the Muslim investors championing the construction of the new mosque near Ground Zero claim it’s all about strengthening the relationship between the Muslim and non-Muslim world.
As an American, I believe they have every right to build the mosque – after all, if they buy the land and they follow the law – who can stop them?
Which is, why, in the spirit of outreach, I’ve decided to do the same thing.
I’m announcing tonight, that I am planning to build and open the first gay bar that caters not only to the west, but also Islamic gay men. To best express my sincere desire for dialogue, the bar will be situated next to the mosque Park51, in an available commercial space.
This is not a joke. I’ve already spoken to a number of investors, who have pledged their support in this bipartisan bid for understanding and tolerance.
As you know, the Muslim faith doesn’t look kindly upon homosexuality, which is why I’m building this bar. It is an effort to break down barriers and reduce deadly homophobia in the Islamic world.
The goal, however, is not simply to open a typical gay bar, but one friendly to men of Islamic faith. An entire floor, for example, will feature non-alcoholic drinks, since booze is forbidden by the faith. The bar will be open all day and night, to accommodate men who would rather keep their sexuality under wraps – but still want to dance.
Bottom line: I hope that the mosque owners will be as open to the bar, as I am to the new mosque. After all, the belief driving them to open up their center near Ground Zero, is no different than mine.
My place, however, will have better music.”
Is This Genius or what?
Anti-moslem tram
ANTI-MOSLEM TRAM IN THE NETHERLANDS !!!!!!!!
BURY MANY PIGS IN AND AROUND GROUND ZERO !!
THEN................ NO MOSQUE !!!!!!!!!
Perception
. . . Something To Think About . . .
THE SITUATION
In Washington DC , at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.
About 4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.
At 6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.
At 10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.
At 45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.
After 1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded. There was no recognition at all.
No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.
This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the DC Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.
This experiment raised several questions:
*In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?
*If so, do we stop to appreciate it?
*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?
One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made . . .
How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?
How To Stay Young
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND always remember :
Li f e is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Worry about nothing, pray about everything!!!
Poems Found In Toilets
I hope you enjoy these POEMS
POEMS FOUND IN TOILETS.
THE 'FUTURE' IS IN YOUR HAND, HOLD IT GENTLY'
Excellent poems by not so famous poets.....
Found on toilet doors and walls...
A budding poet trying his best...
Here I lie in stinky vapour,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger .
Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...
Here I sit
Broken hearted.
Tried to shit
But, only farted .
Someone who had a different experience wrote:
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!
Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in toilets.
I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think .
There are also people who come in for a different purpose...
Some come here to sit and think.
Some come here to shit and stink.
But, I come
Here to scratch my balls ,
And read the bullshit on the walls.....
Toilet's walls als o double as job advertisement space.... (written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line,
The Fire Department wants you.
Ministry of Environment advertisement.
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please
On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance..
And finally, this should teach some a lesson... Sign seen at a restaurant: The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly.
The Sun And Moon Viewed Over The North Pole
A scene you will probably never get to see in your lifetime....
This is the sunset at the North Pole with the moon at its closest point.
You also see the sun below the moon.
An amazing photo and not one easily duplicate.
You may want to pass it on to others.
The Chinese have a saying:
When someone shares with you something of value,
you have an obligation to share it with others...
Michelangelo's David is being returned to Italy
David stayed too long in the USA
A bit of cultural news for a welcome change.
After a two year loan to the United States ,
Michelangelo's David is being returned to Italy
His Proud Sponsors were:
THIS WAS TOO FUNNY NOT TO SHARE!
The Mother Of All Bombs
This is a picture of the US Air Force's new 21,000
Pound MOAB --- the 'Mother Of All Bombs'.
It is an upgrade of the 15,000 pound 'Daisy cutter'
which was used in Afghanistan
The USAF and Coalition forces are planning to drop
the MOAB on Tehran , Iran . From the looks of it, if you get hit with this --- you haven't got a prayer!
Scroll-down
The Amazing Hair Dryer
Not long ago a friend took her ten-year-old boy to my house looking for my wife, saying that her child had hiccups all day long. The child was very uncomfortable and unable to eat at all. After she checked, my wife said there was a muscle spasm in his diaphragm. Without hesitation, she took out a blow dryer, turned on the power and started blowing at the boy's stomach. About 10 minutes later, the boy burped and fell relieved.
We were surprised that this thing can do the trick. But my wife just smiled.
A few days later, I had a stiff neck when I woke up in the morning. I could hardly turn my head. I recalled my stiff neck problem was treated a few times by acupuncture and cupping when I was younger. I asked my wife for the similar treatment. She said there weren't any needles at home nor any suitable small jars for cupping. She just took out a hair dryer. I couldn't help laughing. Again? This thing can cure stiff neck too? Amazing!
She blew on my shoulders and my neck for about 15 minutes. My neck was really loosened up. I could turn my head now. Later in the evening, she repeated that on me once more.
The pain in my neck was significantly reduced. I crowned her the "queen of blow drying".
She explained that this was inspired by the method people used in the old days. In hospitals, with all the modern equipments we have, doctors do not need blow dryers. Back in the old days, in rural villages especially, doctors were poorly equipped with medical supplies. So they came up with other means to treat patients with common pains.
Suddenly I realized this is the thermal effect on pains with the heat generated by a blow dryer. Modern physiotherapy equipment such as electric, laser, thermal, ultrasound and others can easily generate heat for effective treatment. They are, of course, more powerful then a blow dryer. However, when they are not available, using a blow dryer to generate heat will also work, temporarily at least, on common pains such as back pain, muscle spasm, stiff neck, leg cramps, etc. It is easily accessible and easy to operate as long as there is electricity. The blow dryer is really amazing. Try it. Hope it works for you too.
Knowing where to make an effort
A giant ship engine failed. The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine.
Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a young. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.
Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.
"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer...... ......... ........ $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap.......... ......... ...... $ 9, 998.00
Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort makes all the difference!
The Time of the Singing of the Birds has Come
By Sheila Schuller Coleman
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they are?" -Matthew 6:26 (NIV)
Many of you have heard my father preach on this scripture: "The time of the singing of the birds has come" (Song of Solomon 2:12). And, every time I have heard him share on that scripture, I had a hard time relating to it. Don't birds sing all the time?
Here in sunny Southern California, we have birds around us all of the time. They don't migrate south for the winter, and others migrate in from colder climates. I was thinking about that the other day when I received a text message from my youngest son, Nicholas. Nicholas is in graduate school on the East Coast in Connecticut. This is his first winter outside of sunny Southern California. So, he calls me and sends me pictures of the piles of snow that he's trudging through. He has complained loudly about how cold he is. I hear from him, "Why am I here? It's ten degrees below zero. I'm walking home from studio at midnight in a blizzard. I can't even see where I'm going."
Meanwhile, back at home one sunny, warm California morning, I opened my windows and started thinking about Nicholas back east in all that snow. I thought, "I bet he doesn't open his windows because it's too cold." But, even if he did, he wouldn't hear a bird sing. All the birds have migrated south for the winter where it's warm. However, spring is on its way. In fact, when spring arrives in Connecticut, I expect Nick will open up his windows to hear the birds singing again. When spring returns, "the time of the singing of the birds has come" - the sign that the winter is over and the blizzards are gone.
For you and me, for many of us, we have been experiencing a winter in our lives - brought on by the recession, serious health concerns, and troubling relationship issues. It has been a long, hard, stormy winter. When will spring come?
God always promises! The spring always arrives! The winter always comes to an end. And, with the end of winter, with the beginning of spring, the birds return. The birds' songs is are a signal that the winter blizzard is over. A new life has sprung. A new day has dawned.
The time of the singing of the birds will come and, even if you still see no signs of spring or encouragement that the storms are ending, hear the song of Jesus – today! He is the songbird in your life. Hear His song*: "Why should I feel discouraged...when Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He. His eye is on the sparrow..." - you and me. Today, hear the song, feel the warmth of the love song of Jesus in your heart. No matter how cold your day is, the Lord will warm your heart.
*"His Eye is on the Sparrow," C.D. Martin, C.H. Gabriel.
That's Life
God created the donkey and said to him.
"You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."
The donkey answered:
"I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years"
God granted his wish.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
God created the dog and said to him:
"You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.
You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.
You will be a dog. "
The dog answered:
"Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years.
" God granted his wish.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
God created the monkey and said to him:
"You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks.
You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. "
The monkey answered:
"To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."
God granted his wish.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Finally God created man ...
and said to him:
"You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.
You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals.
You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."
Man responded:
"Sir, I will be a man but to live only
20 years is very little,
give me the 30 years that the donkey refused,
the 15 years that the dog did not want and
the 10 years the monkey refused.
" God granted man's wish
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......
And since then, man lives
20 years as a man ,
marries and spends
30 years like a donkey,
working and carrying all the burdens on his back.
Then when his children are grown,
he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house
and eating whatever is given to him,
so that when he is old,
he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey,
going from house to house and from one son or
daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.
That's Life.
Breakthrough in Music Industry
Now everyone can read sheet music.....
(sometimes you must click this picture to take effect)
What is Globalization?
Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by an American (who lives in Italy for ten months a year), using Bill Gates's technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....
That, my friends, is Globalization
World Clock
The world clock shows fascinating stats for many world issues. It also contains an accurate time zone clock
Poodwaddle.com
Beware of Garlic
Garlic Warning!!!!
For years Doctors and scientists have told us that some food's are good for us only to be told later that they bad for us, and again they tell us that some food's are bad for us, and all the time they've been good for us and their doesn't seem to be much proof either way to suggest what is good or bad until now that is.
Garlic is definitely BAD for us
"You Are, What You Eat"
I warned you.................
You have been Garlic'd. Now you're it!!
Remarkable Iraqi Statue
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS? OR WHERE THIS IS?
THE STATUE
This statue currently stands outside the Iraqi palace, now home to the 4th Infantry division. It will eventually be shipped home and put in the memorial museum in Fort Hood , Texas
The statue was created by an Iraqi artist named Kalat, who for years was forced by Saddam Hussein to make the many hundreds of bronze busts of Saddam that dotted Baghdad
Kalat was so grateful for the Americans liberation of his country; he melted 3 of the heads of the fallen Saddam and made the statue as a memorial to the American soldiers and their fallen warriors
Kalat worked on this memorial night and day for several months.
To the left of the kneeling soldier is a small Iraqi girl giving the soldier comfort as he mourns the loss of his comrade in arms.
Do you know why we don't hear about this in the news? Because it is heart warming and praise worthy..
The media avoids it because it does not have the shock effect.
Guess where is this ?? Penis Plant...
And just to make you smile ....
Viagra's Head Office in Toronto (Canada)
Seriously, it is !!!
Jesus Angry
Have you ever seen Jesus angry?
What makes Him mad about...
Beware of Solar Power
The Effect of solar Power is trully amazing
Did Phillip fart?
I say he did...and he probably does all the time.
What the Hell he's almost ninety, and at that age you don't hold anything back even if you wanted to!
The really important question?
Did Philip Fart?
What do you think?
The expressions are priceless!
Look at the Queen's face!
5 Best Positions to Get Pregnant Fast
Getting pregnant maybe the easiest of all things, however, some couples do find it hard to conceive for several reasons, including weak or insufficient sperm count.
In some cases, as when nature needs a boost, a little push from you and your partner can go a long way in getting pregnant. When it comes to the best position to get pregnant, the general rule is that the male sperm must be deposited as near to the female cervix as possible.
This has something to do with the life spans of the female egg and the male sperm. Once an egg is released from the ovary – a stage also known as ovulation – it begins its path down the fallopian tube to the uterus. A released egg typically survives for only 24 hours, while a sperm can last anywhere from three to five days in the female body. As such, the egg has to be as close to the egg as possible so they can meet and join before the egg dies.
While not a lot of people will agree that the sexual positions have anything to do with getting pregnant, the logical inference is that it makes sense to assume the position that can help the sperm meet the egg in the shortest possible time.
This is especially true when for couples who have problems or difficulty conceiving. Having said this, the first "best position to get pregnant" tip is to avoid positions that least expose the cervix to the male sperm, and that generally defy gravity such as sex while standing up, sitting down, or with the woman on top. When trying to conceive, it is best to limit the amount of sperm that flows back out of the vagina.
The woman's hips should also be positioned in such a way that the sperm released is kept inside, giving it enough time to swim up to the female cervix.
Consider the following positions instead:
1. The missionary position. Or man-on-top is said to be the position that's best for getting pregnant. This is because this particular position allows for the deepest possible penetration, making it possible for the sperm to get deposited closest to the cervix.
2. Raise the hips. Elevating the hips, which can be done by placing a pillow behind her, can also be helpful because this exposes the female cervix to as much semen as the male can release.
3. Doggy-style. The rear-entry position where the man enters the woman from behind is also a recommended position. In this position, sperm is also deposited closest to the cervix, thereby helping increase the chances of conception.
4. Side-by-side. You can also try having intercourse while lying side by side. This position likewise causes the most exposure of the cervix to the male sperm.
5. Orgasms. Finally, while this has nothing to do with sexual positions, there are also researches that suggest the importance of the female orgasm in conceiving. According to studies, female orgasm leads to contractions that could push sperm up into the cervix. The lesson: have fun while trying to conceive.
Malaysian Cartoonist Harass Japanese Tsunami
What A Man...
And here is the response :
Earthquake Explained
Earthquake explained so you can remember
It might be well to be a bit knowledgeable about earthquakes in case someone asks or wants to know more about them. Since science was my chosen profession for 35 years, I might be a bit more able than most to explain it.
In hopes of a "knowing" society, I present this.
What's the difference between
an oscillatory and a trepidatory earthquake?
1. This calculation is just for engineers:
2. And this one is for those ignorant --like you and me:
This is a trepidatory earthquake:
This is an oscillatory earthquake:
And this is a combination of both: (trepidatory and oscillatory)
Science is beautiful when it is well explained...
Self-confidence - John D. Rockefeller
The business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out. Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy.
Suddenly an old man appeared before him. "I can see that something is troubling you," he said. After listening to the executive's woes, the old man said, "I believe I can help you."
He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying, "Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time." The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world!
"I can erase my money worries in an instant!" he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the un-cashed check in his safe. Just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.
With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.
One year later, he returned to the park with the un-cashed check. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.
"I'm so glad I caught him!" she cried. "I hope he hasn't been bothering you. He's always escaping from the home and telling people he's John D. Rockefeller."And she led the old man away.
The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he'd been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him.
Suddenly, he realized that it wasn't the money that had turned his life around.
It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.
45 Important Lessons of Life
45 Important Lessons of Life (Written by a 90 year old woman)
This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!
Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
Its estimated 93% won't forward this.
If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'.
I'm in the 7%. Friends are the family that we choose
The Choice is MINE
to live as I see fit. How it unfolds is up to me.
I can be miserable, or I can have a great day.
I can doubt, or I can have Faith.
I can feel depressed, or I can express the Joy
that is inherent in me.
I can fear, or I can trust - myself, others or God.
I can complain about aches and pains or I can affirm
God's perfect gift of life within me.
I can dwell on loss, or I can seek new interests,
new life in living.
I can criticize others, or I can accept and bless them
and enjoy happy and harmonious relationships.
I can Harbour old grudges, or I can forgive.
I can speak of lack, or I can affirm God's never
failing supply.
I can give up, or I can make a fresh start.
I can go it alone, or I can depend on God.
"Choose this day
Whom you will serve"
Curry, the new weapon in the war on Alzheimer’s
Eating a weekly curry can help prevent the onset of Alzheimer’s researchers claim.
It probably won’t be our main priority when deciding what takeaway to order.
But curries – so often criticised by advocates of healthy eating – may protect against Alzheimer’s disease.
Eating a curry two or three times a week could help prevent the onset of Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia, an expert said yesterday.
According to Professor Murali Doraiswamy, the magic ingredient is curcumin, a component of the spice turmeric.
Curcumin prevents the spread of harmful amyloid plaques found in the brain of Alzheimer’s sufferers, he said.
These plaques are thought to play a key role in symptoms such as memory loss and mental impairment.
Professor Doraiswamy, who grew up in the southern Indian city of Madras, which is famous for its fiery curries, said: ‘There is very solid evidence that curcumin binds to plaques, and basic research on animals engineered to produce human amyloid plaques has shown benefits.
‘Turmeric has been studied not just in Alzheimer’s research but for a variety of conditions, such as cancer and arthritis.
Turmeric is often referred to as the spice of life in ancient Indian medical lore.’ A trial is under way at the University of California, Los Angeles, to test curcumin’s effects in Alzheimer’s patients and specifically on amyloid plaque proteins.
Scientists say the spices in curry, including curcumin, a component of the spice turmeric, can help memory
Scientists say the spices in curry, including curcumin, a component of the spice turmeric, can help memory
Similar research is about to start at Southampton University, although some British experts suggested that large amounts of curry would have to be eaten to counteract some of the brain changes that are characteristic of Alzheimer’s.
Professor Doraiswamy, of the Department of Psychiatry, at Duke University Medical Centre, in Durham, North Carolina, said human studies will build on laboratory research.
He told delegates at the Royal College of Psychiatrists‘ annual meeting in Liverpool: ‘You can modify a mouse so that at about 12 months its brain is riddled with plaques. If you feed the rodent a curcuminrich diet it dissolves these plaques.’
He added: ‘Studies looking at populations show that people who eat a curry meal two or three times a week seem to have a lower risk for dementia.’ Turmeric is also found in mustard and Professor Doraiswamy predicted a day when those unable, or unwilling, to eat curries might be advised to take a daily ‘curry pill’.
Can You Actually Read This?
Fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 out of 100 plepoe can raed it.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed this, forwrad it.
[FORWARD IT ONLY IF YOU CAN ACTUALLY READ IT.]
A Hilarious Mail from a frustrated victim of chain mails
I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008 and continuing it in 2009 also.......
Because of your kindness:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc…..
* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer...
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo...
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a Can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.... (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)
* Still open to help somebody from Nigeria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of $ 100 million. So much trustworthy.
* I have forwarded 35 emails to 400 people hoping that Ericsson or Nokia will send me latest mobile phones but those models are also obsolete now.
* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh , Tirupathi Balaji pics etc. Now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else)
NOW IMPORTANT NOTE :
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will Pee on your head today at 6:30pm.
Nothing has happened till now......... ......... ..... but who knows. So please forward.
Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?
1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning..
2. Alfred Hitchcock did not have a belly button..
3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years..
4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.
5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!
6. Only 7% of the population are lefties.
7. 40-people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.
9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
11. The average housefly lives for one month.
12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
14.. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.
16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.
18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.
19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in 'An Officer and a Gentleman' and 'Tootsie.'
20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State Anthem.
21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane, just in case there is a crash.
23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.
24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth.
They are used in vein transplant surgery.
25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.
26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green...
Now, scroll down for the answers..........................
They are all TRUE
Now go back and think about #16 !
Postingan
