Freedom from Suffering

Our Addiction to Suffering

Have we become addicted to suffering? Learn how to turn unhappiness into joy.

By Isha

Many of us – from all walks of life and at every level of society-- have become addicted to suffering. Our addiction reaches such an extent that even when everything seems to be going perfectly; we find a reason to feel bad. A classic example is during those times when everything is going far too well, it feels too good to be true, and we look for ways to question, doubt and even complain about our good fortune! The good news is we can free ourselves.

Rising Above

For some of us there may be a certain comfort in suffering, in being a victim, because we don’t have to take responsibility; it’s much easier to blame someone else for our own discontent. Some of us get lost in the suffering we have been through in the past, unable to embrace things anew or see them through fresh eyes. We then miss out on experiencing the beauty of the present moment. We need to restore our innocence and focus on the love within us and in the world. This requires rising beyond he discontent of the intellect, and embrace freedom and joy in every moment.

Tapping into Love-Consciousness

Love-consciousness is the unconditional love within all beings. It is not a strange or ethereal experience but something very concrete and natural; you have probably experienced it before in moments of your life — maybe while spending time with a baby, a pet, expressing yourself creatively or watching the sunset. This experience is available to all of us at any time, only we have become so distracted by the world around us, we have lost sight of its presence within. Until we go back inwards, and reestablish our awareness in the unchanging fullness that has always been there, we will feel insecure, incomplete. The experience of love-consciousness becomes more apparent when we learn to live in the present moment.

Living in the Moment

Living in the moment helps us rise above the judgments and complaints of the intellect to embrace the world around us with innocent, joyful acceptance. When we experience love-consciousness, we realize that everything is perfect exactly as it is. This does not mean we shouldn’t want to improve our situations and grow. Evolution is the nature of life, and everything is always moving forward; but if we choose to embrace the beauty of what is happening right now, instead of focusing on what we perceive as wrong, love grows, instead of fear.

Reclaiming Innocence

Have you ever watched children building sandcastles on the beach? They are a delight to watch, totally absorbed in what they are doing. They run around filling their buckets and make their castle higher and higher. When it finally stands in all its glory, they wait in excitement for the tide to come in and pull it down. Then they happily start again, building another castle. There is no regret--just the excitement of the next project, a new moment, as they intuitively embrace creation and destruction as natural parts of life.

Embracing Simplicity

As adults, on the other hand, most of us seek to preserve the walls of our sandcastles at all costs, in a vain attempt to protect our achievements and possessions from the unpredictability of the world. But it doesn’t matter how rigid those walls are; the tide of life will eventually come in and sweep them all away. We were all children once. Open again to the unknown magic that awaited us around every corner. Embrace that simplicity and spontaneity and let go of the questions, controls, and opinions of the intellect. If you can rekindle the lost innocence of childhood, while at the same time maintaining the maturity and sense of responsibility, you have gained from adulthood, you will transform your life in ways you can’t imagine.

Taking Responsibility

In order to find true freedom from suffering, we need to begin to find happiness within. As adults, we may resist taking responsibility for our dissatisfaction. It’s easier to blame the politicians, our parents, religion, pollution, our bosses, and so on. We can change our external circumstances ad infinitum, but in reality that will never change anything. The outside is just a mirror of our own discontent. Fulfillment, peace, joy, and love do not come from outside. When we are no longer dependent on the shifting changes of our surroundings, we can finally enjoy the unexpected nature of life, free from fear.

Speaking the Truth

In modern society, we have learned to lie all the time. We lie to please others, to defend ourselves, and to hide the parts of ourselves we have learned to judge as wrong or inappropriate. We think, It’s just a little lie, but there are hundreds of them! Whenever we lie, we are abandoning ourselves; we are not loving ourselves. Whenever we modify ourselves in order to receive love, we are separated from self. In speaking our truth, on the other hand, we never compromise ourselves in the search of approval from the outside.

Loving Yourself

The thrill of romance is something many of us seek tirelessly — the pursuit, the candlelit dinners, the flowers, the songs, all the theatrics. But in reality, we are seeking distraction: the excitement and fantasy are just ways of avoiding the lack of love we feel within ourselves. With love-consciousness, this need to distract ourselves falls away. All the expectations we place on the outside and on our partners — all the reasons we feel unfulfilled within our relationships — just vanish, because we have created a relationship with ourselves. Once you have discovered love of self, romance might appear in your life as an added bonus, but it will no longer be a requirement for your contentment.

Giving of Yourself

Once we have found love of self, the natural desire to share this with others is born. The nature of love-consciousness is to give, and it has the power to reach beyond all apparent differences. When people are complete within themselves, they stop needing to protect, control, or grasp because the nature of love, the nature of love-consciousness, is to give to every aspect of itself. Love perceives itself in everything. It perceives no scarcity or lack. In love, a new perception is born, a new vision for life.

Free Yourself Now

We can find freedom from our addiction to suffering when we choose, instead, to focus on love.

Imagine when you look in the mirror

that the face looking back at you is someone you truly love.

Just imagine. . .

How Laughter Keeps Us Sane

I loved this article in the Times Online by A.C. Grayling, Professor of Philosophy at Birkbeck, University of London.

When other animals draw back their lips to show their teeth it means they are about to attack. Hyenas and the Pacific laughing gull naturally produce ha-ha noises but it is humans alone who experience comic relief, for whom bared teeth and convulsive gasps express pleasure.

Of course there can be a dark side to laughter. There is an ocean of difference between laughing at and laughing with. There can be cruel and mocking laughter, humiliating and nasty laughter. And you would expect philosophy's gloomiest exponent, Nietzsche, to have a wet sponge to throw at the subject: only humans laugh, he said, because only they suffer enough to need laughter as an antidote. He is, alas, right.

But generally to think of laughter is to think of jollity and delight. It keeps us sane in the face of the world's absurdities. Laughter punctures pomposity and often constitutes a more effective counter to one's opponents than all the massed tropes of logic. The comedian-pianist Victor Borge once said that laughter is the shortest distance between two people. It is even said that no woman can love a man who does not make her laugh.

But laughter is about more than jokes. People can laugh for no other reason than that they are happy. They can laugh at unlucky turns; they can laugh with delight at unexpectedly meeting a friend. That all these things prompt laughter is a happy fact about human beings, given how much cause they have to weep too.

10 Inspiring Thoughts for Tough Times

By Noah benShea

Difficult financial times often inspire people to become more extraordinary. Challenge and adversity can push people toward their own greatness. It can launch you on a deeper personal journey toward happiness, fulfillment, and a life of meaning. As you explore ways to gather strength and improve self-esteem, remember, it is not so much about what you have but who you are. May these tips inspire you. May you go from strength to strength and be a source of strength to others.

Broke Is not Broken

Being broke is not the same as being broken, losing money is not the same as being lost, and finding your balance is not something you can do on a balance sheet.

Having Less Doesn’t Mean You Are Less

Don’t confuse having less with being less, having more with being more, or what you have with who you are.

Savor Life and Slow Down

When you’re in a hurry, go slowly. The faster you go in life the sooner it is a blur.

Prayer Creates a New Path

Prayer creates a path where there is none and turns your stumbling blocks into building blocks.

Courage Is not Absence of Fear

Put your faith, and not your fears, in charge. Courage isn’t the absence of fears but how you wrestle with them.

Embrace the Future

If you’re busy hugging the past, you can’t embrace the future. Don’t let the past kidnap your future.

Change Is the Only Constant

This too shall pass. Change is the only constant. In order to take a breath, you must release your breath.

Make a Difference

Do what you can, but never forget that letting go is very different from giving up. Of all the things you can make in life, remember you make all the difference in your life.

Embrace Happiness

Tough times don’t require you to be tough on yourself. Find the courage to embrace happiness.

You Are Great

Things don’t have to be good for you to be great.

Motivational Quotes to Bring You Courage

Quotes on Courage

We all need the strenght to pursue our dreams. Read on for motivational quotes and inspirational sayings to help you tap into the courage and fortitude within. And remember, whatever your fear or challenge of the moment, this too will pass.

Extraordinary people...

Extraordinary people survive under the most terrible circumstances and they become more extraordinary because of it.

—Robertson Davies.

When things go wrong...

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint on the clouds of doubt,
And you can never tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar.
So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit.

—Unknown

Don't get discouraged...

Don't get discouraged; it is often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.

—Unknown

The person who removes a mountain...

The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.

—Chinese proverb

We gain strength...

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.

—Eleanor Roosevelt

Courage doesn't always roar...

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, “I'll try again tomorrow."

—Mary Anne Radmacher-Hershey

You must have long range goals...

You must have long range goals to keep you from being frustrated by short range failures.

—Charles Noble.

Develop an attitude of gratitude...

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.

—Brian Tracy

Nothing in the world...

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan, "Press on," has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

—Calvin Coolidge

Action is the antidote...

Action is the antidote to despair.

—Joan Baez

You will face...

You will face many defeats in your life, but never let yourself be defeated.

—Maya Angelou

Life shrinks or expands...

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

—Anais Nin

Our society is so caught up...

Our society is so caught up in winning, we forget that most of the great men and women in history have, at one time or another, failed at something. Often repeatedly, and discouragingly. But each failure is nothing more than a brick in the wall that forms the foundation of our success. We can't forget that.

—Carlton Young

Don't wait...

Don't wait for your ship to come in. Row out to meet it.

—Unknown

De-Procrastinating, with a Little Help from My Friends

Last week when I came out as a procrastinator and asked for your help, I got quite a few responses from people who can relate all too well.

First my friend Deb tossed this funny gem my way: "Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. " And then FL reader Lisa wrote about her self-rewards system, "I refuse to JUST spend my time 'getting it all done' so I do something and reward myself with eating, phone, computer, and nothingness and when I am done (I don't limit my time so I'm less angry at the to do list), i do the next thing! As I sit here writing to you, I have 1000 things not getting done."

When I put the post on Facebook, my friend Jeff wrote, "I'm not sure you will find any other procrastinators on Facebook. ;)" Which, duh, reminds me how that site is the procrastinator's Paradise/Hell. Or, you know, that of course includes the entire Internets (a few years ago an Onion headline read, "Internet Down, Productivity Soars"). And then Jeff shared this bit of excellent support: "Forgive yourself and have faith in your innate ability to do what actually needs to be done to make you a happy animal."

Another friend emailed me this: "...procrastination is probably the thing that is causing me the most grief in my life right now. I struggle with the little daily things, and I struggle with the big life-goal things. I have BIG plans and so much passion for them, and yet, at times I feel paralyzed. So frustrating!"

She went on to recommend the books "Getting Things Done" (which is one of the ones I've attempted to read then gotten overwhelmed by) and "Creating Your Best Life," which sounds like a good supportive book (and website) I've just added to my Amazon cart. She also summed up the most heartbreaking thing about procrastination and why it's so essential not to let it rule/ruin our lives, "I just feel that we all have so much potential, and yet hold ourselves back from tapping into it. I want to live at my fullest potential." Amen, sister.

I deeply thank all of you. It's nice to feel less alone in it. And somehow, it's actually helping me get stuff done. I'm slowly plowing through some backlog, which, I'm realizing, requires a large amount of courage-summoning and intense perseverance. It's not like it's a secret I haven't done certain things, but actually contacting people and saying, "Thank you for your patience, I want to move this project along now," is an almost excruciating lesson in humility. It becomes instantly clear why I've been avoiding it--even though experience has taught that each moment procrastinated compounds the shame and resistance.

I'm not exactly cured (ha!). But I do feel like right now I'm moving things along--one email, phone call, form, minute, and day at a time. It's my birthday later this week and that feels like the best present I could ever give myself: the gift of flow.

Do you have any more anti-procrastination tips and wisdom? If we collect enough of them we'll make them into a feature that could potentially help a lot of people.

7 Ways to Discover Joy

Find More Joy in Life

Many of us reach a point when our lives become routine, dull, and thankless. We lose our sense of meaning and direction. There seems to be a lack of purpose and feelings of hopelessness permeate our very being. We do reach a time when we are tired of being emotionally constipated and seek out ways to break this numbing cycle. The time has come to venture into something new.

Listen to Music

Select songs that will make you happy or if you haven't cried for a long time, select songs that will induce sadness. The release of tears will help you let go of what ever is keeping you stuck.

Follow Your Dream

If you have had a long term dream of writing a book, opening a store, moving to the country or running for political office, now is the time to pursue that dream instead of merely fantasizing about it.

Let Go of Grief

You may have been deeply hurt during your childhood. One of your parents may have died abruptly or you may have been abused. If you are having difficulty forming and keeping relationships and if you have had a loss or traumatic event years ago and it seems like it happened yesterday, you may be suffering from stuck grief. Seeking out a psychotherapist or an appropriate self-help group may be very helpful.

Change Your Job

If you have been working at the same job for a long time, perhaps it is time for a change. It is difficult sometimes to know when you have outgrown your current position and you stay because it is familiar and secure. However, the lack of new challenges is deadly for your personal growth and creativity. It may be time to move on.

Celebrate Your Positive Changes

We tend to focus on the negative aspects of our being and the positive parts of us tend to be overlooked or ignored. Tune in to the positive changes you may have recently made such as: "I used to be so reactive and now I am able to stop and think before I blurt out something that will be hurtful." "I can now walk for three miles without getting exhausted."

Give to Your Community

Volunteering to help those less fortunate than you will not only be appreciated by many, it will also reward you spiritually and allow you to connect with others who are helping and receiving assistance. This activity will move you out of the intellectual realm and into your emotional world.

Decide to Break Your Addiction

Whether you are addicted to substances, another person, video games or anything else, getting assistance and eventually breaking your addiction will eventually make you a happier, more productive person.

Inspirational Quotes that Celebrate Springtime

Spring is here. Let these quotes and sayings about spring time lift your spirits.

The season of renewal and rebirth is upon us. Like an newborn baby, this season brings with it the sweetness of new beginnings and endless possibilities.

So peel away the darkness of winter and enter the warmth of Spring! Welcome springtime with these inspiring quotes.

Awaken to Spring

And Spring arose on the garden fair,
Like the Spirit of Love felt everywhere;
And each flower and herb on Earth's dark breast
rose from the dreams of its wintry rest.

—Percy Bysshe Shelley

Life is Alive

Spring is when life's alive in everything.

—Christina Rossetti

Spring Always Comes

Never yet was a springtime, when the buds forgot to bloom.

—Margaret Elizabeth Sangster

The Soul Revives

The beautiful spring came; and when Nature resumes her loveliness, the human soul is apt to revive also.

—Harriet Ann Jacobs

Let the Grass Grow

Sit quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself.

—Zen saying

April and May

April hath put a spirit of youth in everything.

—William Shakespeare

The world's favorite season is the spring. All things seem possible in May.

—Edwin Way Teale

Optimism Blooms

An optimist is the human personification of spring.

—Susan J. Bissonette

Hope Rekindled

Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.

—Sarah Ban Breathnach

Poetry

Spring has returned. The Earth is like a child that knows poems.

—Rainer Maria Rilke

Children Playing

Spring’s greatest joy beyond a doubt is when it brings the children out.

—Edgar Guest

Party Time

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"

—Robin Williams

The Fever is Upon Us

It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want —oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!

—Mark Twain

In The Garden

I love spring anywhere, but if I could choose I would always greet it in a garden.

—Ruth Stout

Feeling Calm

Science has never drummed up quite as effective a tranquilizing agent as a sunny spring day.

—W. Earl Hall

Love Carried on the Breeze

In springtime, love is carried on the breeze. Watch out for flying passion or kisses whizzing by your head.

—Emma Racine deFleur

Immortal Season

Spring—an experience in immortality.

—Henry D. Thoreau

The Force is With You

The force of Spring—
mysterious,
fecund,
powerful beyond measure.

—Michael Garofalo

Spring is the Birthday of the World

'Tis like the birthday of the world,
When earth was born in bloom;
The light is made of many dyes,
The air is all perfume:
There's crimson buds, and white and blue,
The very rainbow showers
Have turned to blossoms where they fell,
And sown the earth with flowers.

—Thomas Hood