Sperm Attack

Ah, that doesn't look too bad. Some kind of squirt gun, right? Well, here's a picture of what it looks like to be shot by The Oozinator...

A picture is worth a thousand words, and that's good because actually typing a description of what appears to be happening to the child in the above picture on an Internet site is most likely a felony in all 50 states. We will say this though: That's not water. It's "ooze."