Pretoria, South Africa (CNN) -- It was the middle of the night, Oscar Pistorius says, and he thought an intruder was in the house. Not wearing his prosthetic legs, feeling vulnerable in the pitch dark and too scared to turn on the lights, the track star pulled his 9mm pistol from beneath his bed, moved toward the bathroom and fired into the door.
It was only after he called to girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp -- whom he thought had been in bed beside him after a quiet evening -- that he realized something horrible might have happened, he told Chief Magistrate Desmond Nair in a statement read by his lawyer during his bond hearing Tuesday. Prosecutors dispute the version of events that Pistorius detailed in his statement.
Pistorius says he broke down the locked bathroom door -- at one point in the statement saying he kicked the door in, at another saying he used a cricket bat to break it down -- then scooped up the mortally wounded Steenkamp and carried her downstairs after for help.
"I tried to render the assistance to Reeva that I could, but she died in my arms," he said in the statement. "I am absolutely mortified by the events and the devastating loss of my beloved Reeva."
While prosecutors and defense lawyers agree Pistorius shot Steenkamp, the track star denied intentionally killing her, in the statement read Tuesday.
Prosecutors say they believe Pistorius put on his prosthetic legs, picked up his gun and walked to the bathroom where Steenkamp, 29, had locked herself -- apparently after a heated argument -- and shot at her four times.
Three of the bullets struck Steenkamp, who died soon after. Her funeral was Tuesday.
Pistorius spent much of the hearing sobbing and heaving at the mention of his girlfriend's name, at one point forcing Nair to stop the proceedings to ask him to compose himself. His family stood nearby, huddling during breaks and appearing to pray. During parts of the hearing, Pistorius' brother placed his hand on the suspect's back.
During Tuesday's hearing, Nair upgraded the charge against Pistorius to premeditated murder, saying he could not rule out the possibility that the track star planned Steenkamp's death. But Nair said he will consider downgrading the charge later.
The allegation of premeditation makes it more difficult for Pistorius' attorneys to argue he should be released on bail pending trial. To win bail, the defense must argue that "exceptional circumstances" exist that would justify Pistorius' release.
The session ended Tuesday afternoon with no decision on bail for Pistorius, 26. Prosecutors said they needed time to study the affidavits read in court before deciding how to proceed.
In the statement read by his lawyer, Pistorius said he would not try to flee or influence any witnesses if he is allowed out on bail, and argued that his release wouldn't be a danger to public order.
The hearing is scheduled to resume Wednesday morning.
A tragic mistake?
In his statement, Pistorius said Steenkamp came over February 13, opting for a quiet dinner in over a night out with friends. They wrapped up the night with a bit of television in bed for him, some yoga for her. She had brought him a Valentine's Day present to open the next day.
After the couple had gone to bed, he said he got up in the early hours of February 14 to close the balcony door in his bedroom when he heard a sound in the bathroom.
Pistorius said he'd been a victim of violence and burglary in the past, and realized with terror that contractors who worked at the house had left ladders outside.
Fearing someone had entered the home through the open bathroom window, moving in the dark on the stumps of his amputated legs, Pistorius grabbed his pistol from under the bed and yelled at the intruder to get out.
"I fired shots at the toilet door and shouted to Reeva to phone the police. She did not respond and I moved backwards out of the bathroom, keeping my eye on the bathroom entrance," Pistorius said in his statement. "Everything was pitch-dark in the bedroom and I was still too scared to switch on a light."
"When I reached the bed, I realized that Reeva was not in bed. That is when it dawned on me that it could have been Reeva who was in the toilet. I returned to the bathroom calling her name," he said.
He said he threw open the balcony door and screamed for help, put on his prosthetic legs and tried to kick in the door to the separate room inside the bathroom containing the toilet. Then, he said, he picked up a cricket bat, smashing panels out of the door before finding a key and unlocking it.
"Reeva was slumped over but alive," he said.
Pistorius said he called for help and was told to take her to the hospital himself.
He carried her downstairs and tried to help but, but she died.
"I cannot bear to think of the suffering I have caused her and her family, knowing how much she was loved," he said.
But he said he did not mean to kill her, and protested the charges against him.
"I fail to understand how I could be charged with murder, let alone premeditated murder because I had no intention to kill my girlfriend," Pistorius said in the statement.
"We were deeply in love and couldn't be happier," he said."I loved her and I know she felt the same way."
A premeditated murder?
Prosecutors, however, painted a different picture.
They rejected Pistorius' claim that he mistook her for a burglar, saying it would make no sense for an intruder to hide behind a locked bathroom door.
Instead, they say Pistorius armed himself, attached his prosthetic legs and walked 7 meters (23 feet) to shoot Steenkamp through a bathroom door after a heated argument.
Defense attorney Barry Roux questioned the state's argument, asking how prosecutors would know Pistorius had put on his prosthetic legs and walked to the bathroom before shooting his girlfriend.
Police were alerted to the shooting by neighbors, and residents had "heard things earlier," police spokeswoman Denise Beukes said.
Authorities said there had been "previous incidents" at the home, including "allegations of a domestic nature," but did not provide details.
Detectives are investigating the blood-stained cricket bat found in the home, Johannesburg's City Press newspaper reported. They are trying to determine whether it was used to attack Steenkamp, if she used the bat in self-defense, or if Pistorius used it to try to break down the bathroom door, the newspaper said.
Final farewells for Steenkamp
As the drama in court unfolded, friends and family mourned Steenkamp at a private funeral in her hometown of Port Elizabeth.
"There's a space missing inside all the people she knew that can't be filled again," her brother Adam Steenkamp told reporters outside.
Steenkamp was a law school graduate whose modeling career was on the rise. She landed the cover of FHM magazine and recently appeared on a reality TV show.
On Sunday, South Africans heard Steenkamp's voice one last time after her death, when the national broadcaster aired a pre-recorded episode of the show. The model talked about her exit from "Tropika Island of Treasure," on which local celebrities compete for prize money.
"I'm going to miss you all so much and I love you very, very much," she said, blowing a kiss to the camera.
Case rivets fans
The case of the global sports hero known as the "Blade Runner" has riveted stunned fans around the world.
As he walked into court in a blue shirt and gray suit, frenzied photographers snapped away, prompting the judge to demand they stop.
The scene was a far cry from the packed stadiums that erupted in applause whenever the double-amputee competed against men with legs.
On social media, sentiment appeared to mixed. "Oscar Pistorius is telling us rubbish," one Twitter user posted.
But others were more supportive after hearing Pistorius' story. "I for some reason believe Pistorius after reading his affidavit!!," another person tweeted.
Oscar Pistorius: Drama of the courtroom
It was another early morning scramble to get accreditation at the bail hearing for South African athlete Oscar Pistorius and - in case you were wondering - no, journalists cannot queue.
With reporters and cameramen racing up and down stairs to secure a precious wristband allowing access - an orderly line outside at Pretoria Magistrate's Court C quickly turned into a shoving match as confused officials struggled to come up with a plan to determine who should get the few seats available inside the red brick courtroom.
“ His sobs, muttered prayers, and to see the muscles strain on his neck as he stares forward, with the concentration you would expect from someone braced for the start of an Olympic final”
You find me now writing this on a seat just in front of the wooden dock where Oscar Pistorius will spend a second day listening to the testimony of prosecution and defence lawyers.
Beside me is a South African journalist colleague, who fainted in the crush outside.
Just in front of us are six chairs for the defence team, led by Barry Roux, who have been busy poring over large white sheets of paper - the floor plans for Mr Pistorius's home. There is a forensic expert in the group.
But the focus today will be on the group sitting ahead and to my right - the prosecution team led by Gerrie Nel.
He is expected to spend much of the day guiding the state's chief investigating officer, Hilton Botha, through his detailed appraisal of what happened at Mr Pistorius's house last Wednesday and Thursday.
On the platform at the front of the courtroom, a single black chair is reserved for Magistrate Desmond Nair.
He has frequently shown his displeasure at the photographers and cameramen who have sometimes disobeyed his order not to take pictures while the court is in session.
He has a crisp, inquisitive manner, but has shown a taste for making the occasional joke.
It is obvious that the lawyers, the majority of them white, know each other well and although there is the occasional flash of condescension most of the exchanges have been cordial.
Deep trauma
Clustered behind the lawyers, some sitting on chairs but many on the red carpeted floor, is a mass of journalists, criminologists and officials from the prosecutor's office, as well as a private sketch artist, Jaco Van Vuuren, who says he knows Mr Pistorius quite well (and who included me in some of his portraits on Tuesday).
Behind the wooden dock, seated on five rows of wooden benches, are the relatives and friends of Oscar Pistorius, and more journalists.
There must be about 80 people in all.
There is an air conditioner at work but it is a sweltering day outside and the atmosphere in the courtroom is a little muggy.
Today, like on Tuesday, Oscar's father Henke, brother Carl and sister Aimee are seated as close as they can be to the Olympic and Paralympic athlete - near enough to reach forward and hold his shoulder during the frequent occasions when he has been overwhelmed by emotion.
A few minutes ago photographers were briefly ushered in and allowed to take pictures of the relatives - some of whom bowed their heads - before being told to leave again before the magistrate or Mr Pistorius arrived and the court comes into session.
Immediately to my right is the wooden door, and behind it the steel barred door, that leads down to the cells. Two police officers stand beside it.
This is only a bail hearing, not a full trial, but the evidence beginning to emerge in this room has been spellbinding for everyone.
But just as striking for me has been the experience of sitting no more than a metre and a half away from Oscar Pistorius - able to hear his breathing patterns, his sobs, muttered prayers, and to see the muscles strain on his neck as he stares forward, with the concentration you would expect from someone braced for the start of an Olympic final.
He is a man in deep trauma and it is hard, regardless of what he did or did not do, not to feel and respond to his anguish.
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