The Secrets To Grow Your Breasts From The Army

German Soldiers Growing Breasts Because Of Gun Drills

These German soldiers aren't boobs, so why are they growing them?

A new military report published in the German Medical Science journal and obtained by the German Herald finds that dozens of soldiers in the Wachbataillon unit have developed the condition because the drills they perform stimulate male mammary glands.

The director of plastic surgery at the military hospital in Berlin, Professor Bjorn Krapohl, said it's likely the repeated slapping of the soldiers' rifles on the left side of their chests during drills stimulates the glands to produce hormones, which creates the one-sided-boob effect.

At least 35 soldiers have been stricken with the condition, called one-sided gynecomastia, which has prompted German military officials to consider changing the way in which the battalion performs drills.

That's not exactly comforting news to Jezebel's Katie Halper:

    Are they waiting for every single member of the unit to grow breasts before they actually change their drill practices? Maybe, in the mean time, they could at least switch it up a little and alternate the side of the chest that they hit so the men can at least grow a symmetrical rack.

The Week tracked down footage, shown above, of the Wachbataillon performing their drills and, they do indeed appear to hit their chests very hard and very frequently.